The Importance of Today
by Newbie08
Summary: After a case hits too close to home for Harm, he decides to start living in the moment, no longer willing to let his life pass him by. He starts to take action when it comes to Mac and she's not quite sure what to make of it. Harm and Mac pairing.
1. Chapter 1

This story doesn't really take place during any particular episode but I would place this around seasons nine and ten.

This is unedited and unbetad. Hope you like.

JAG Headquarters  
Lt. Col Sarah MacKenzie's Office  
1537 hours (3:37 local)

Mac cringed at the sound of knuckles wrapping on her office door. All day long young Petty Officers continued to file in and out of her office needing signatures on this form and her initials on that form. If it wasn't someone knocking on her door then it was the General calling her into his office so he could add another case to her already busy work load. Needless to say, it had been an extremely long day.

And to top it all off, she hadn't seen or heard from Harm in almost a week. He had left early Wednesday afternoon to interview a witness on the John Henry and said that he would be back late Wednesday night but that must not have been the case. Something must of come up causing him to stay later than planned.

Mac thought that her and Harm were slowly starting to work towards something. Ever since her accident on Christmas Eve Harm had become move attentive towards her. He would bring her a cup of coffee so that she wouldn't have to go into the breakroom, knowing that she really didn't have time to spare but was in desperate need for some caffine. He would call her at night right before he went to sleep not just to hear her voice but knowing that she needed to vent due to her strenuous work load. And now that she hadn't seen him she really started to miss him.

A louder knocking on her door brought her out of her reverie. With a frustrated sigh she said, "Enter."

"Well hello stranger," Harm said with a grin from ear to ear.

"Hi," Mac replied, grinning also. Had her blinds not been open and if they weren't in uniform, she wouldn't have thought twice about going over there and squeezing the daylights out of him. But because of their location and attire, she tought better of it.

Harm shut her door before walking over to take a seat in her visitors chair. He took a moment to just take her in, the way her chocolate brown eyes twinkled with delight in seeing him, how her bangs slightly hung over her eyebrows and into her eyelashes, causing them to move whenever she blinked. She was absolutely breathtaking, even in her uniform.

"So how goes the battle?" Harm tilted his head toward the stack of files that seemed to forever be piled on her desk.

Mac released yet another sigh of frustration before replying, "I've been better." Harm noticed the way her shoulders slumped slightly at her response, like she was carrying the weight of the whole world on her shoulders and she was starting to crumble.

"That bad?"

"Cresswell's been giving me extra cases because we've been short staffed lately, with everyone being away on cases theres just been Bud and myself."

"I'm sorry, Mac." Harm really was sorry that she had all this extra work put on her. He knew all too well what it was like to have added responsibilities on top of extra cases and it wasn't something he enjoyed.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be putting this on you; I'm sure you're tired from your trip and here I am giving you an earful of my problems." Mac looked down at her hands with insecurity. She didn't like to vent her problems and frustrations on Harm but sometimes it just felt natural to tell him everything that was on her mind. Sometimes she didn't think twice about what she told him and that was scary for her, to feel so comfortable with someone yet scared at the same time.

Harm looked down at her hands and fought the urge to reach over and take one of her hands in his. He wanted to do nothing more than take hold of her hands and tell her that it's okay to talk to him about her feelings but given their current location, he knew that wasn't the best idea.

"Mac?"

Mac lifted her head at the sound of her name and looked at Harm. "Yeah?"

Harm leaned forward in his chair and dropped his voice a decible. "Would like to come over to my place for dinner tonight? I have a little something planned for today's holiday and I'd really like for you to come."

Mac nodded her head in consent to the night's plans and nodded once more when Harm said to be there for 1800 but that was the last thing she remembered from there conversation. She didn't hear him say that he had to go brief the General on his case, she didn't even see the smile he sent her way after she agreed to dinner. All she kept thinking about was the 'holiday' that he mentioned.

Mac sat in a stunned silence for minutes trying to think of what holiday today was. After going through all the major holidays twice she started to think about the smaller holidays; Martin Luther King day, Flag day, St. Patrick's Day. Then it hit her: Mother's Day. What in the world had Harm planned for Mother's Day?

Mac soon forgot about the stack of files collecting on her desk that desperately needed her attention and soon started focusing on what lay ahead of her tonight.

Sarah MacKenzie's Apartment

Georgetown

1720 (5:20 local)

For Mac, the day seemed to drag even more once Harm had left her office. She spent the remaining hours trying to stay focused on the files in front of her but it was no use. She left a message with Harriet saying that she had some loose ends to tie up on a case and she would be gone for the rest of the day.

It wasn't like Mac to blatantly lie but she had to do something to keep her mind occupied for a few more hours or else she would've gone insane. So in an attempt to waste time till her dinner with Harm, she went to Rock Creek Park and ran a few miles. After a mile or so, she realized running wasn't the greatest idea after all considering she was running at the park where she and Harm always ran.

Mac gave up trying to keep her mind occupied with thoughts other than what would transpire tonight but it was no use. So with a long hot soak in the tub she gave in to those thoughts. She didn't understand why today was so important Harm had to plan something special. Mac wasn't a mother herself, although she would've liked to have the chance to become before that was taken away from her, so it didn't make sense for them to celebrate about that. If Harm's mother was in town she didn't think Harm would want to celebrate with his mother and her.

While Mac soaked in the tub with her thoughts, she temporarily lost track of time until her cell phone rang. Reaching over to where it rested on the lid to the toilet seat, she picked it up.

"MacKenzie."

"Hey Mac, it's me." Harm couldn't help but smile at the sound of her voice. The affect she had him lately felt too good for him not to express how he'd been feeling for quite some time.

Mac smiled also after hearing his voice; she'd missed him while he was away on a case. If she wanted to be honest with herself she'd admit that she missed him when he was just across the room.

"Did you get my note?" Harm was sure she got it. It would be kind of hard to drive with a post-it note stuck to your windshield.

"Yes Harm, I got it."

"Good, so I'll see you at 1800 then?"

"Of course you will, Harm. I'll see you soon."

"See you soon."

Now, Mac stood with a towel wrapped around her body in front of her full-length mirror with a post-it note in her line of vision. 'Casual Attire' was all it said in Harm's familiar scrawl. She couldn't understand why she had a closet full of clothing but she still couldn't find anything to wear.

Mac knew she was over thinking but she just couldn't help it. She didn't want to dress too casual and show up at Harm's door to see him dressed up. She didn't want to dress up to go to Harm's and find him in jogging pants. She just didn't know what to put on.

After sifting through her closet for the fifth time that night, she finally settled on a pair of faded blue jeans with a soft brown sweater. She figured it was casual enough to feel comfortable in yet it was dressy enough to born worn to a special occasion.

Once she was dressed Mac grabbed her coat and keys, hit the lights then headed out the door. She had a knot inside her for the better part of the afternoon. She wasn't sure what it was but she knew something was going to happen and it was going to happen very soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Harm stood at the stove stirring the linguine and checking the timer for the bread. He shut off the burner for the pasta and brought the pot over to the sink to drain it when he heard a knock on the door. He looked at the clock above the stove and smiled to himself. Mac was here.

When Harm got to the door he didn't hesitate to swing it open. What he saw was a very beautiful Sarah MacKenzie looking fantastic even in casual clothing. He never tired of seeing her in regular clothes and tonight was no exception. Harm loved how she had been wearing her hair longer and that's how she had it tonight. The color of her sweater brought out different shades of brown in her eyes that he'd never seen before. The sweater clung to her midsection showing off her flat and toned stomach. Her jeans hung to her in all the right places and the slight heel to her brown boots brought two more inches of her face into Harm's line of sight.

"You look…fabulous." He extended his hand and took her arm to lead her into the apartment. Mac smiled in hopes to stall due to the lack of communication her brain was having with her mouth.

When Harm opened the door, she knew she had never seen anything sexier. His hair was uncombed and in different directions, nothing like the standard Navy hairstyle, and his long sleeved black button up shirt hung down past his waist. The faded black jeans hung low on his hips, almost like they were either half a size to big or an old pair he grew out of but couldn't part with. Mac knew if she were to just reach out and lift up the hem of his shirt she would be able to see the band of his boxer-briefs sticking out above his jeans.

After a few swallows Mac managed a smile and replied, "Thanks, you don't look so bad yourself." Harm smiled his flyboy smile and reached up to help her with her coat.

Once Harm stepped behind her he reached up and gently slipped his hands under the collar of her jacket. Slowly, he moved his hands across the span of her shoulders and ever so leisurely down her sweater clad arms. When he reached her wrists, he ran his thumb in small circles over the vein of her left arm while he grabbed the right side of her jacket in his free hand. Harm knew he probably shouldn't be doing that but he just couldn't stop himself. He'd missed her while he was away and that particular case brought some perspective into his life. He finally understood how important one day could be in a person's life and he wanted to start living in the moment, especially when it came to this one woman. When Harm stopped his caress to Mac's wrists he gingerly walked his fingers into the palm of her hand before tracing the lines there.

But much to Harm's disappointment, and Mac's, he had to finish removing her coat so they could start their evening. Once Mac's coat was off and draped over the arm of the coach, Harm went back to the pasta that was still in the strainer.

Mac knew that she should be asking Harm if he needed help with anything but she couldn't stop herself from thinking what Harm had on his mind. She could still feel his fingers on her wrist and hand and it sent chills down her spine. Just the lightest touch of his hand sent electric shocks all over her body. Mac knew Harm had something up his sleeve but she wasn't quite sure as to what it was.

Before she had any more time to analyze Harm's actions she heard his voice. "Dinner is almost done Mac, if you want to take a seat at the bar." He looked over his shoulder and gave her a small smile as he watched her take a seat before continuing with the dinner duties.

After a few minutes of setting their plates and pouring their drinks, Harm took his seat across from Mac at the bar. Harm really didn't make anything all that spectacular for dinner but Mac telling him the pasta and bread were delicious brought a smile to his face.

Mac thought about letting Harm bring up the real reason why he wanted to have dinner on the special holiday but she knew the longer she waited the more she would analyze it. Mustering up all of the courage she could, she trudged ahead.

"So Harm, what makes this 'holiday' so special for you?" Mac knew that Harm could answer her in one of two ways, either the safe way or the truth.

"Well in case you didn't know, today is Mother's Day." Harm looked up at her in an attempt to catch some sort of vibe from her. Unfortunately, Mac wasn't giving away anything. Harm was going to have to spill whatever was occupying his mind in order to get a read on her.

Mac smiled slightly then replied, "Yes Harm, I know today is Mother's Day. But I don't see how that has any relevance to me."

Without a second thought, Harm reached across the countertop and took her hand in his. He turned her hand over, palm side up, and began to lightly trace the lines on her hand. For just a minute, they were both lost in the moment and the way their heartbeats accelerated at even the slightest touch.

When Harm finally spoke, his voice was just below a whisper. "I know that you're not a mother yet, but someday you will be. So this is like a pre-Mother's Day dinner. Besides, I just wanted to spend some time with you, okay?"

Subconsciously Mac rested a hand on her stomach. Both she and Harm knew that her chances of conceiving were slim to none but she didn't know why Harm would choose to bring that up.

"Harm that's not funny." Mac's voice was laced with feelings she hadn't felt all night, anger, pain and hurt.

Harm had a feeling she would react like this but he was quick to put her at ease. After taking his napkin from his lap and placing it on the side of his plate, Harm stood up and walked around the bar to take a seat next to Mac. He took her hands in his then spoke.

"Mac, look at me." Mac lifted her head at Harm's command and almost lost it. The love and sincerity in his eyes was enough to make her melt. Her eyes filled with tears, tears for her and tears for him. Tears for the life she knew she wanted and tears for the fear that she isn't good enough for him.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, Mac. I just…I just want you to be happy." Harm paused long enough to wipe a tear from Mac's cheek. "I know that someday you will be happy with someone and I know that you will become a mother somehow. That's all I meant by it."

Mac sniffled quickly then dried her tears. "I'm sorry, Harm. I didn't mean to ruin our dinner."

"It's not ruined, we just took a little detour that's all." Harm smiled to show her everything would be okay. Once Mac nodded her head in agreement, the pair went back to eating their semi-cold dinners.

The rest of their meal was eaten in a comfortable silence. Harm's thoughts were focused on a topic he hadn't brought up yet while Mac's thoughts became self-centered, in a sense.

Whenever Mac thought about her future it was always one of two things, the same as her life now or chaotic. When Mac was having a bad day, she rarely ever seen a husband and children in her future. It was always a vision of the headstrong Marine either still at JAG or at a new command post and every night she went home to an empty apartment.

But on the night's where she was feeling hopeful, her future brightened. It was what Mac referred to as her happy place. She would stay at home with the two kids while Harm worked a regular civilian job and have more of a flexible schedule for his wife and kids. Mac's home would be filled with laughter and music instead of being lonely and dark.

After the pair finished their meal Mac offered to help clean the dinner dishes before they made more from the soon to be eaten desserts. Once the dishes were collected and scraped, Mac rolled up her sleeves and started to fill the sink.

"Can I have that?" Harm asked.

Mac crinkled her brow with confusion. "Have what?"

"That," Harm pointed to the hair tie on Mac's wrist.

"Harm, your hair isn't long enough for you to need this."

Harm smiled at the joke. "I know my hair isn't long enough, but could you please just give it to me?" For added effect he stuck out his lower lip and with that Mac couldn't help but to laugh and cave in.

"Why do you need it?"

Harm smiled to himself. "You'll see." Harm was standing behind Mac while she reached over to shut the faucet off. Normally, her Marine senses would tell her that Harm was standing right behind her, but her mind was too preoccupied to realize it.

Once Mac was standing, Harm reached up and softly ran his fingers through Mac's hair. He started at the part on the top of her head before gingerly combing his fingers through the hair just above her ears and ending at the base of her neck where he wrapped her hair in a loose ponytail.

Harm stepped to Mac's side at the sink to gauge her reaction and was slightly surprised to see her with her eyes closed. Harm placed one hand at the small of her back while he stood there waiting for her to open her eyes.

After a few short moments, Mac opened her eyes and looked at Harm before speaking with just a hint of wonder. "What was that all about?"

Harm looked deeply into her eyes and sugar coated his answer. "Well, your hair would've been in your face while you leaned over to wash the dishes. And your hands would've been wet and soapy so you wouldn't have been able to tie it back yourself. I just figured I'd do it for you."

"Thank you," Mac whispered as she tried to hold back her tears. She didn't know what it was about tonight but her emotions were jumping all over the place and she didn't know how to control them. If Mac were to be honest with her self she would know the reason for her emotions going haywire is because of the man standing next to her. But pretending to be in denial was easier than admitting the truth to herself.

In an effort to comfort Mac, Harm started to gently rub slow circles up and down the span of her back. He truly didn't mean to make her cry, if anything he just wanted to make her happy. He leaned over and place a soft, lingering kiss on her temple the rested his forehead on her shoulder.

Harm knew he was being more forward with his feelings toward Mac than normal but he just couldn't help himself. He had a revelation of sorts a few days ago and ever since then his mind has just been focusing on the most important person in his life…Sarah MacKenzie.

Finally, Harm couldn't take it anymore. He had to tell Mac what was on his mind. Without a word, he removed himself from Mac's side, placed all the dishes in the sink and grabbed Mac by the hand and pulled her into the living room. He'd been waiting long enough to say this and now, even though it wasn't the best setting, the mood was right.

Taking a deep breath he began. "Mac…"

**Part 4**

Mac looked up at Harm from her seat on the couch. She wasn't sure why he pulled her into the living room but she knew something wasn't quite right with him. She watched in thought as he paced back and forth in front of her in an agitated state.

If Mac was going to be honest with her self, she wished they were back the kitchen standing at the sink, his head on her shoulder with his hand on her back. Even in that stance, she felt so completely safe and content with him at her side. She'd always felt safe with him but lately the safety-ness she'd felt when she was by his side was so much stronger than it was before.

All of her feelings for him had been stronger than normal, too. When he was away on his case she missed him like crazy. She didn't just miss seeing him at JAG, she missed seeing his smile, and she missed their dinners and conversations about absolutely nothing.

But more than anything Mac missed his attentiveness towards her. She missed how she would catch him looking at her from across the bullpen and how he'd place his hand at the small of her back when they walked side by side. She missed how he would bring her a coffee from her favorite coffee shop every morning, cream and two sugars, just the way she liked it.

Before Mac was able to continue with her thoughts, she felt the cushion she was sitting on dip towards her right. When she turned her head she was face to face with Harm.

"Harm? What's the matter?" Harm had a piercing, determined look in his eyes and he was focused on Mac and Mac only.

"There's something I want to talk to you about." After a few seconds of staring into Mac's eyes, Harm leaned back against the couch and turned so he was facing her. He reached over and took her hands in his then rested their hands on his lap.

This was it, the ball of something that had been in Mac's stomach started to tighten. She knew what ever it was that Harm had to tell her would finally come out. She was scared and nervous and she couldn't seem to figure out why.

"The case really got to me, Mac." Harm's voice was low and soft, like only she was meant to here his words. "After Petty Officer Harris was found innocent of the murder charges, I asked him if he wanted to use my cell phone so he could call someone back home and tell them the good news. He just looked at me funny for a moment and said, 'I have no one to call, Sir.'"

Harm dropped his head and focused on their hands while he replayed the memory. "At first I thought I was hearing things because all throughout the investigation he kept telling me how he couldn't wait to call his best friend when it was all over and give her the news that he was innocent and it was all just some big misunderstanding."

Mac sat in silence too afraid that if she said anything he would stop his story and what he was going to tell her would be kept to himself.

"I didn't ask him what happened because I didn't feel that was the appropriate thing to do but he told me anyway. The Petty Officer said he didn't have anyone to call because his parents were out of town and his best friend past away during the trial. He said she died of a brain aneurysm at the age of twenty-five."

Harm paused for a few seconds in an effort to get his bearings. What he had to say wasn't the difficult part, how Mac would react is the part he didn't want to think about. But he knew he couldn't hold it in any longer so he trudged ahead.

"The Petty Officer told me a lot about his best friend and their relationship and it reminded me of us." With that comment, Harm lifted his head back up and looked lovingly at Mac. All of his feelings were showing brightly in his eyes, all she had to do was look hard enough and she would see them.

"They would do anything for the other, whenever one needed someone to talk to they always went to the other and they spent all of their free time together, much like you and me."

"But the one difference between us and them, was that they never had the opportunity to pursue anything other than friendship. And I would love to have a future with you, Mac. I'd love to make you happy, and make you feel safe and content and all of the other feelings I have when I'm with you but that can only happen if you want me too."

Mac couldn't help herself from tearing up at Harm's confession. She knew what she wanted but the ever-present war between her heart and her head were confusing her. If she listened to her heart she would be in his arms kissing the life out of him. But if she listened to her head she would tell him that she needed to think before making any quick decisions.

After a few short moments Mac's inner battle ceased after she made her decision between her heart and her head.

"I-I'm not really sure what to say or what it is you want me to say, Harm." Mac pulled her hands out of Harm's and that's when he knew her answer before she even spoke. "I know how I feel and what I want but I still have so many problems and insecurities to work through before I can answer you. I'm sorry, Harm."

Mac made an attempt to stand up but Harm put his hand out to stop her. He took one of her hands and placed it gently over his heart. He held it there for a moment or so, giving her the opportunity to feel his hollow heartbeat and allowing him the time to try and compose himself.

After a few more seconds, Harm looked deeply into Mac's eyes. "I tried to make the feelings stop but I couldn't do it, Mac. I didn't like how empty I felt when I hid them and looked the other way because I thought that's what you wanted me to do."

No matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop his eyes from becoming glossy with tears. With one hand holding Mac's hand to his heart, he used his free one to cup her cheek. "Just tell me that it's okay to have these feelings for you. Tell me that I'm not waiting around for something that's never going to happen."

Mac couldn't help the tear that escaped down her cheek. She tried to keep them at bay but seeing Harm so emotionally disheveled because of her made her want to cry. She hated doing this to him but she knew it was for the right reasons. She wouldn't be able to handle it if she jumped into a relationship with him just to have it fall apart because of her insecurities.

"It is okay to have those feelings, Harm. But I don't know if I can answer you about waiting around. I want to be able to tell you that everything will be okay and we'll live happily ever after but I can't because I don't see that happening yet. I have so many things I have to work through and think about. It's not fair for you to be waiting around for me."

Harm didn't quite believe what he was hearing. He thought she would be happy about him finally telling her how he felt but that didn't seem to be the case. Part of him wanted to talk her into a relationship with him and forget about all of the bad stuff. But the other part knew that if they were going to have a healthy relationship that she needed to work through whatever was bothering her.

"It's getting late, I think I should go." This time when Mac stood to leave Harm stood wither her. Harm grabbed her coat from the arm of the chair and walked her to the door before helping her put it on.

"Thank you for dinner, Harm. It was delicious. We'll have to have that desert some other time." Harm nodded his head in response before opening up the door.

"Would you like me to walk you to your car?" Harm knew she was going to say know but he really didn't want to say goodnight to her.

"No, thank you anyway." Mac didn't know where to look. She tried to avert his eyes at all costs because she was too afraid of what she'd see in them.

"Mac, do you have any plans for next weekend?" Harm didn't know what got into him but for some reason he just had to ask her.

Mac paused slightly unsure of where this would be going but answered honestly. "No, I don't have any plans." She kept her head down in slight embarrassment.

"Would you like to come with me to my grand-mothers farm for the weekend? My mom's flying in for the weekend and I was going to visit with them. I was supposed to this weekend for Mothers Day but I had the case."

Mac wasn't sure what to think. The thought of spending time with him sounded very appealing, even after what happened tonight. But she didn't want to spoil his time with his family so she told him so.

"Mac, you wouldn't be spoiling anything. My grandmother wants to meet you and I'm my mother would too. Besides," Harm stopped to reach out two fingers and lift Mac's chin so she was looking at him. His voice became low then he finished, "I want you to be there."

One look into his eyes told Mac that he was serious. "Okay Harm, I'll go." He smiled softly at her then told her he'd give her more details during the week. Harm cupped her cheek and started to rub slow circle on her cheekbone before planting a soft kiss to her forehead.

"Good night, Mac," he whispered. She whispered good night and was making her way down the hallway before Harm had time to blink. Harm knew he didn't scare her away, she just needed to get out of there. He was sure she was tired, after all, she seemed like she had been riding an emotional roller coaster.

After walking to the window to make sure Mac made it to her car safely, harm shut off all the lights then laid down for a restless sleep. His mind was too focused on Mac and this upcoming weekend to give him any rest.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello everyone! I just wanted to take the time to say thank you for all of your comments, on all of my stories, they mean a great deal to me. **

**I know I haven't been updating this regularly but I'll try my hardest to do so. However, sometimes real like gets in the way so I can't make any guarantees. **

**Also, this is un-edited and un-beta'd so all mistakes are courtesy of me.**

**Harm's Apartment**

**North of Union Station**

**1645 (4:45 local)**

Harm walked around his apartment making sure his windows were shut and locked before entering his bedroom to finish packing his duffel. While packing his bag his thoughts went to Mac, just like they always did.

Over the course of the week, Harm made it a point to give Mac the space she wanted. It hurt him to do so but he did it anyway. He didn't touch her in anyway, not that he didn't think about it and when their paths crossed in the bullpen or break room he would send her a small, sad smile or he'd sneak a look at her when he thought she wasn't looking in an attempt to gauge her attitude.

As for conversations, those were few and far between also. He didn't call her at nighttime to see how her day went like he used too and the only words spoken between them happened Wednesday morning. After Mac told him to enter at his soft knock on her office door, he poked his head in to say he'd pick her up Thursday night around 1730 and to bring a book because Grams didn't have cable. They would leave a day early because the 'big wigs,' as Harriet called them, were headed to JAG for a conference so all officers had an extended weekend. Her reply was just an 'okay' and that was that.

Now he was finishing his packing and praying to the heavens that the weekend away from JAG would help Mac relax and focus on what she needed to work through so they could be together. After all, time is of the essence, or so they say.

Once he had his socks and an extra set of pajamas packed, Harm zipped up his duffel, grabbed his jacket and bags then headed out the door.

**Sarah MacKenzie's Apartment**

**Georgetown**

**1723 (5:23 local)**

Mac was running on autopilot while she went around the house taking care of things that needed to get done before she left. However, if someone were to ask her what she had accomplished before leaving for the weekend she wouldn't be able to tell you.

While she went around her apartment closing windows and cleaning to pass the time, her mind drifted to this past week. Ever since her dinner with Harm on Sunday night it seemed as if things passed in slow motion. She knew the week was progressing but her mind was still in Sunday night. Harm had pretty much laid everything out for her, stated his intentions and let her in, like she said she wanted, but she turned him away.

Turning him away for what felt like the millionth time in their relationship hurt Mac more than she thought. For this time, she was truly afraid that he would see that he was wasting his time and move on by the time she was ready to start something with him. But Mac knew it was necessary; she had things she needed to work through in order for them to have a healthy relationship.

During the week she noticed the space Harm gave her and for that she was somewhat grateful. The space made it easier for her to work through her insecurities, one in particular. Ever since her break-up with Clay, make began to analyze why all of her relationships ended in disaster. Eddie, Chris, Dalton, Farrow, Mic and Clay, in some way shape or form, whether it was before, during or after the relationship ended, Mac always found something wrong with herself and to her, that added to the cause of the break-up. And she didn't realize she did it until she broke up with Clay.

Besides the fact he was a spook, Clay wasn't right for her and she knew that. Being a CIA agent meant you were full of secrets and secrets weren't healthy in relationships. Being an agent also meant that you were in undisclosed locations for any amount of time, which meant your partner, carried around an extra amount of worry when in some instances there wasn't anything to worry about in the first place.

Mac also had trust issues with Clay and trust is a main component in having a healthy relationship with someone. On the rare occasion when Clay would tell Mac where he was going, Mac took him at his word. She figured that because he didn't tell her his location often, when he did he was telling the truth. But that all changed the day she found out Clay had his assistant ordering gifts for her from magazines, causing Mac to believe the gifts came from the country he claimed to be in.

But deep down in her heart, Mac knew she would never feel like that with Harm. She never once doubted her trust in him and he'd never made her feel as though she wasn't pretty enough for his taste. She was the one who thought he was only interested in blonde, blue-eyed, busty women and that's partially where her insecurities stemmed from. How would she ever be able to compete with these types of woman thinking that was all Harm was interested in? It wasn't until Harm told her she was beautiful before she realized she was wrong.

Once Wednesday came and Mac resolved her insecurities, she felt lighter, like this weight had been lifted and it felt great. She wasn't completely back to her old wisecracking self but she felt she was getting there. When she caught Harm looking at her in the break room that morning, she even cracked the faintest of smiles, but it was a smile nonetheless.

Before her thoughts had the chance to progress she heard a light knock on her door. After looking through the peephole to see Harm's semi-sad face, she opened the door with a slight smile.

"Hey." After Harm gave her his standard greeting he couldn't help but stare. Her beauty never ceased to amaze him, even in jeans, t-shirt and no make-up she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Mac noticed he was staring and smiled a bit brighter at the look on Harm's face. Her heart skipped a beat at the pure excitement on his face at just seeing her.

"You ready?" Mac nodded her head in response and left Harm at the door long enough for her to grab her coat, bag and purse from the coffee table in the living room. After she locked the door to her apartment they headed down the hall to the stair well.

Harm placed his hand at the small of her back in guidance while they made their way down the stairs and was surprised that she tensed up momentarily before relaxing at his touch.

When they reached Harm's SUV he opened the back door so Mac could put her bags in. She noticed that Harm had two bags and thought he might have over packed for a weekend trip but didn't say anything.

After her bag was in the back, Harm put his hand on her back once more, just needing to touch her if only for a moment, while they walked around the front of the SUV to the passengers side. Once they got there Harm opened the door for Mac and stood waiting for her to get in. But instead she turned around and faced him. Mac was hoping her nerves wouldn't cause her to chicken out so before they had the chance to do so, she place one hand on his cheek then reached up to plant a soft, lingering kiss on Harm's cheek.

Mac looked away quickly missing the shock on Harm's face then got into the car. Once she was seated Harm shut her door before hurrying into to the drivers side and getting in himself.

Once they were buckled and the car was warmed up, Harm pulled onto the street before heading for the highway…

Part 6

**Grandma Sarah's Farm**

**Bellevue **

**1916 (7:16 local)**

Harm pulled up the long dirt road leading to his Grandmother's Farm, breathing in the air that filtered in through his slightly cracked window. The ride up to the farm had been a quite one; both Harm and Mac were too wrapped up in their thoughts to worry about making small talk.

Mac started analyzing her kiss to Harm's cheek. She didn't know what came over her. Having feeling a bit lighter after working through some of her insecurities, Mac chose to live in the moment. She thought about kissing him in a more passionate manor but she opted for the safer kiss, a kiss on the cheek. Even the slightest touch of her lips to his cheek sent shivers down her spine. The feelings she had for this one man were stronger than ever before and she was beginning to wonder why she fought them in the first place.

Mac decided it was time for a change; it was time for her to live in the moment, just like Harm had been recently. She vowed to listen to her heart instead of her head this weekend by deciding to act out her emotions. If she felt like touching Harm, she would, if she felt like kissing him, she would do that too. She had a new attitude, turned over a new leaf, just by taking a drive on the high way.

As for Harm, his thoughts revolved around the impending weekend. He knew how his grandmother got when it came to Harm with a woman and he knew that she might make an attempt to get him and Mac together. Harm knew his grandmother just wanted him to be happy, but his relationship with Mac was far from normal. They went through things no other woman could even imagine and he didn't want his grandmother trying to play cupid with their already fragile relationship.

His mother, well that's a different story. She too wants Harm to be happy, just like every mother wants for her child. But she was a little tougher when it came to Harm's girlfriends; she wasn't as passive as his grandmother was. She wanted to know the women inside and out, she wanted to make sure they had Harm's best interest at heart. Yes, she may come off a little on the mean and aggressive side, but if she thinks the woman would be good for her son, it's all smooth sailing from there.

All Harm knew was that he would have to have a serious talk with his mother and grandmother. Asking Mac to go away with him for the weekend was harder than he thought it would be. He had always thought about asking her to go with him when he visited his grandmother but every time he made the trip, his relationship with Mac always seemed to be in a rocky place. So instead of risking the friendship, he would just leave for the weekend and come back on time for work on Monday.

But this time it was different. Yes, his relationship with Mac hit a bump in the road due to Sunday night, but Harm was in a different place, emotionally, than he had been before. He had finally decided to take action and show Mac how he felt about her. The coffee, the smiles, the talks, the touches, they were all part of his attempt to show Mac how much he cared about her.

And Harm also thought the weekend trip would help ease Mac's mind. He knew she needed some space so he gave it too her. She had insecurities to work through, like she had mentioned to him before, and he only hoped that their weekend getaway would help her get over them.

But she also needed a break from real life, although she would never admit it. Her workload had increased tremendously over the past few weeks and Marine or not, it was a lot to handle.

And now here they were, pulling onto the dirt road leading to Harm's grandmother's farm, where they would spend the next three days relaxing and just enjoying each other's company…hopefully. Harm pulled up next to the station wagon parked off to the left of the farm and shut off the car. He glanced over at Mac to find her looking at him, so he gave her a small smile.

"Where here." Mac smiled at him briefly then looked away in nervousness. She may be a Marine and even though she's supposed to be ready for anything, she was always shy when it came to meeting someone new. But when she was in uniform she never let it show, she personified the strong Marine with the squared shoulders and determined look. Out of uniform, that was totally different. Out of uniform she was still a shy girl in a thirty-year-old woman's body.

Harm sensed her nervousness and reached over to take hold of her hand. He squeezed it gently to get her attention then replied, "There's nothing to be nervous about, Mac. You're family." Mac smiled softly at him and looked away so he wouldn't her glossy eyes.

After Harm released Mac's hand he took the keys from the ignition and opened his door. Mac got out of the car and met Harm on the opposite side of the vehicle to help him retrieve their bags. By the time she made it over to his side he already one bag over his shoulder and the other two in his hand. He shut the door with his free hand.

"Do you want me to take a bag, Harm?" Mac asked while reaching for a bag. Harm just shook his head and said "No thanks" before placing his free hand at the small of her back, leading her up the porch steps to the front door. Mac could hear music coming through the open windows and the sound of two voices singing along with the king. She couldn't help but smile at her surroundings; just the loud music and Harm at her side was making her very happy.

Raising a hand, Harm knocked on the door and waited for a response. After a few seconds he knocked again before walking through the front door and into the living room. The sight in front of him warmed his heart, his mother and grandmother bounced around the living room like two teenage girls at a sleep over singing 'Blue Swede Shoes' without a care in the world.

"Are we interrupting something girls?" Harm raised his voice over them so he would be heard. Once recognition dawned on them, his grandmother turned of the radio before hurrying over towards him and Mac who still stood at the door.

"Why hello, Harmon! So good to see you! Come over here and give your Grams a hug!" Harm stepped forward and hugged his grandmother.

"Good to see you too, Grams."

"Make sure you save some of the lovin' for your mother!" Before Harm had the chance to move, his mother, locking him in a death-grip embrace, tackled him.

After a few seconds of embracing his mother, Harm pulled away and stepped over so he was at Mac's side.

"Mom, Grams, I'd like for you to meet Sarah MacKenzie. Mac, Patricia Burnett and Grandma Sarah." Mac put out her hand anticipating a friendly handshake at the introduction but was momentarily offended when neither of the two women took her hand. Instead both Trish and Grams looked at each other before pulling Mac into a warm embrace. Mac hesitated for a moment, overcome with so many emotions, joy, happiness, and love. But Mac promised herself that this weekend was about living in the moment, and in that moment she felt like responding. So Mac wrapped her arms around both women and held on gently.

Harm watched from the sidelines with a grin from ear to ear. The sight in front of him made him feel like the happiest man in the world, to his the three most important people in his life having an all out hug-fest.

After a few short moments Grams and Trish released Mac from their embrace and Mac returned to Harm's side almost immediately, seeking out his warmth; an action that didn't go unnoticed by the other women.

"Please Sarah, call me Grams. I'm not into formalities and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable calling me Sarah, seeing as how it is your name." Mac nodded her head in agreement. She couldn't help but notice some of the qualities she had that Harm had also, height, clear skin with the exception of the wrinkles that came with age, ocean blue eyes, and that smile, the one she knew Harm reserved for just her.

"The same goes for me too, Sarah, I don't do formalities unless it's business related. Please, call me Trish." Trish, however, didn't seem to possess any of the qualities that Harm had. She was a tiny woman, only about five foot six, if Mac were to guess. She had high cheekbones, flawless complexion, and deep, green eyes.

"Well it's very nice to meet you, Grams and Trish. You don't have to call me Sarah, Mac is fine." Mac's shyness was starting to appear and she wasn't sure what she should do about it. She folded her hands and started to play with her thumbs in nervousness. She couldn't remember a time when she had felt like this, like the new girl on the play ground, not knowing where to go and who to play with.

Harm placed his hand at the small of her back and started to rub small, soothing circles with .his thumb in an attempt to put her at ease.

"Nonsense, dear. Mac isn't the name for such a beautiful woman. 'Mac' is the name of a truck; 'Sarah' is the name of a woman." Grams smiled a small smile at Mac in an attempt to make her feel more welcomed.

Mac smiled in return then looked at her surroundings while Harm left her side momentarily to place their bags by the stairs. The brown leather furniture accented the rustic vibe to the living room. There was a soft brown throw rug in the middle of the living room floor which matched the throw blanket on the back of the sofa. There were two recliners across the room from the sofa with their backs to the stairs, facing the fireplace. And pictures all over the walls; pictures of Grams and who Mac assumed was Harm's grandfather, Harm Sr. and Trish, Trish and Frank, and a few of Harm as a child.

When Harm returned to Mac's side, the pair sat down on the sofa while Trish and Grams sat on the two recliners.

"So Sarah, what made you finally decide to come this weekend? I've been after Harm to bring you up here for years." Grams didn't think anything of asking what she thought was an innocent question. Little did she know it wasn't all that innocent to Harm and Mac. You see, for Harm never once mentioned Grams' offer to Mac; she never knew Harm's grandmother was even interested in wanting to meet her.

But now was not the time for Harm and Mac to get into that. So instead, Mac just answered the question the best way she could. "Well, my work schedule has been pretty grueling lately so when Harm asked me to come, I was excited about the break I would be getting." Okay, so that was only partially true. But it was true none-the-less.

"What about you dear, how has work been?" Trish looked at her son before leaning back in the recliner.

"It's been pretty crazy. We've been short staffed lately so our case loads have been pretty full. But lately, with the exception of one case, most of the work has kept me in the office."

While Trish continued to talk to Harm and Mac about work and life in DC, Grams studied her grandson and his friend. The pair sat with their backs to the sofa, enough space between them for each to be comfortable but Grams noticed something. She noticed the twitch in Harm's hand whenever he looked at Mac, like he wanted to take her hand but fought it so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable. And Mac, when she spoke to Trish she kept her hand palm side up, almost as if she were waiting for Harm's hand to take a hold of hers and put her at ease but it never happened.

There was definitely something going on between her grandson and his 'friend' and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

After an hour or so of catching up with his mother and Grandmother, Harm stood up from the sofa. "I don't know about you Marine, but I'm beat so I'm heading to bed. I can show you to your room if you'd like." Mac nodded in response then took Harm's hand as she stood up from the sofa.

"Grams, Trish, I'm sorry to cut our conversation short but I am a bit tired myself so I think I'll be going to bed."

"Don't be sorry, dear. I'm sure the drive had something to do with it. We'll have to give you the full tour tomorrow morning." Grams smiled before reaching up to give Harm a kiss on the cheek. "Good night, Harmon. Good night, Sarah." Grams gave Mac a kiss on the cheek also before moving to make sure the door was locked.

Harm made his way over to his mother so he good give her a kiss goodnight. "Night mom."

"Good night, Harm. Good night, Sarah." Mac smiled in response then followed Harm up the stairs with their bags. Once they reached the top of the stair Harm started to point out the rooms to Mac.

"That's the master bedroom where Grams sleeps. The room next to hers is the guest bedroom where mom will be sleeping. Next to that is the bathroom, and across from the bathroom is your room." When they reached the entrance to Mac's bedroom, Harm walked in and placed her bag on the bed while Mac left Harm's bag at the door.

"The room isn't really that big but you should have enough room in here." Mac looked around at her surroundings. The full size bed was set in the middle of the room with two nightstands on either side of the bed, one with a lamp and the other with a book. To the right of the room was a bureau and to the left of the room was a small desk with some pens and paper.

"This used to be an office but Grams turned it into a bedroom, she just didn't know where to put the desk so she left it in here." Harm paused for a moment to allow Mac to take in everything then continued. "You can have the bathroom first, just let me know when you're through so I can brush my teeth. My room is right next door if you need anything."

Mac nodded her head in response before Harm left her room and headed into his. She wasn't trying to give him the silent treatment, but her nerves were getting the better of her and that was something she was trying to get a hold of.

Once Mac unpacked her bag and put everything in the bureau, she hurried to change so Harm could use the bathroom. She knocked on his door to let him know the bathroom was open before returning to her room.

After Harm finished in the bathroom, he went into Mac's room to say good night. He found her with her arms wrapped around herself, standing next to the window and looking out at the dark sky. He walked over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder to turn her around.

"You okay?" His voice was laced with emotion and concern.

Mac turned to him with glossy eyes before placing her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around his waist. She'd wanted to do that ever since he'd shown up at her apartment but she chose not too. Harm wrapped his arms around her body holding her to him securely. He ran one hand up and down her back in a soothing manner while the other arm stayed firmly wrapped around her waist.

Mac wasn't sure if hugging him was the best idea, but she promised herself she'd live in the moment and in that current moment she craved him. She wanted to feel something other than scared and nervous and she knew she would get it by hugging him.

After a few short moments, Harm placed a soft kiss on the top of her head before whispering, "If you ever feel scared or nervous or…insecure about anything, just come to me and I'll try to make those feelings go away. You're safe with me, Mac, remember that." She nodded into the crook of his neck, not wanting to release him but knowing they couldn't stand there all night.

"Thank you, Harm." With her whispered words, Mac pulled away and looked into Harm's eyes. She seen the love he had for her and knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that they would be okay. It was just getting there that seemed to be a bit difficult.

"Better?" Mac nodded again before reaching up to plant a soft kiss on his Harm's cheek.

"I am now." She smiled at him then playfully pushed him. "Go on Sailor, let a girl get some sleep."

Harm smiled back, happy to see her joking around again. "Good night, Mac."

"Night, Harm."

Once Harm left her bedroom, Mac climbed into bed and thought about the upcoming weekend. As long she continued to live in the moment, she was sure she would be able to fully get past her issues and move forward with Harm…


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello again! Normally I don't like to post every day, two days in a row or even twice in one day. But becausee you guys are so nice with your comments I figured I'd be nice and post again, even though it is a bit soon.**

**Thanks again for your comments, I make sure to read them every day and I'm trying to comment back. Once I figure out how to do so you'll be hearing from me. Hope you like this...**

**Grandma Sarah's Farm**

**Bellevue**

**0713 (7:13 local)**

Mac sat up in her bed with a book on her lap debating between going downstairs and just waiting in her room until Harm woke up. She didn't feel comfortable walking around the house, seeing as how she hadn't even known the owner for twenty-four hours yet. But if she were to wait for Harm, she'd be in her room till noon.

After a few more moments of debating with herself, Mac decided to just stay in her room with her thoughts. It shocked her a bit to see Grams and Trish getting along so well, she wasn't expecting them to be that close. Yes, Harm Sr. had been Grams' son and Trish's husband, so they were related at one point in time, but Mac assumed they didn't have a close relationship. She was expecting there to be a slight amount of tension in the air. After all, Trish had remarried so she wasn't technically related to Grams anymore; the only connection the pair had was Harm. Apparently her assumption was wrong.

Another thought that passed through Mac's mind was last night before she went to bed. She knew Harm would make an appearance before he went to bed for the night but she wasn't expecting to end up in his arms. Not that she minded, no she didn't mind that one bit. What she did mind, was not being able to fall asleep because she could still feel his body against her. His chest to hers, her head on his shoulder, his arm around her waist; she felt him all over and it was a bit disconcerting. Never in her life had she felt so much comfort with one person, and been so afraid to give in to those feelings at the same time.

A light knock on her bedroom door pulled Mac from her reverie. Looking up at the sound, she couldn't help but smile.

"Good morning. You're up early." Harm smiled back at her before walking into the room and sitting at the foot of the bed facing her.

"Good morning to you too. I always get up early when I come here because I know Grams is going to put me to work. So I get up early to get the work done and still have time for myself. Well in this case, have time for you." Harm smiled lovingly at Mac while she smiled back in return.

The two sat on the bed for a moment before Harm stood up and extended his hand towards Mac. "C'mon."

She looked at him skeptically before asking, "Where are we going?"

"I'm going to give you the full tour before mom and Grams get up and steal you for the day."

"Harm, I'm not even dressed yet." Mac motioned with her hands at her attire. She was wearing a pair of black pajama bottoms with a plain white t-shirt.

"So, neither am I." That was the first time Mac noticed Harm was still in his pajamas also. "You have to get the tour early in the morning in order to get the full farm affect."

Mac finally agreed and scooted across the bed to where Harm was before putting her hand in his and allowing him to pull her up.

Once they both had their shoes on and Harm grabbed a sweater in case Mac became cold, they headed down the stairs, through the living room and out the front door. The fresh morning air filled their lungs, waking them up more than any Marine grade coffee either of them had ever drank.

The pair walked side by side while Harm showed Mac the wrap-around porch that lead from the front of the house to the back door which led into the kitchen and a small set of stairs, by-passing a few chairs and a porch swing.

After the couple walked down the stairs, Harm led Mac down a path leading to the barn.

"Do you like horses, Mac?" Harm looked at Mac questioningly. He may be her best friend but that was one thing her truly didn't know about her; how she felt about farm animals.

"Um…I guess so. I mean, they're kind of cute. Why?" Harm didn't bother answering her.

Instead, he led her into the old barn, which held stables for all of the eight horses on the farm. The barn wasn't colossal in size, big enough to house the horses and their feed along with a small path, which led from the front of the barn, right down the middle of the stables and out the back door of the barn.

Mac walked over to the only pony in the barn and started to scratch his mane. Harm smiled at the sight in front of him, Mac being ever so gentle with the little pony like you would with a small child. He draped the sweater he was carrying over the fence, grabbed some sugar cubes from a bag by the entrance, and then slowly crept over to where Mac was standing in an attempt to scare her.

"Nice try, Sailor." Mac turned around with a playful smile on her face. Harm liked it when she smiled, not the fake smiles she would give him when she just wanted to be left alone and he was being persistent about something. No, he was referring to the full blown Mac smiles, the ones that reached her eyes, the ones she would give him when she was feeling totally and completely happy about something. And Harm was glad to see her smiling more often, especially when it was because of him.

"Can't blame a guy for trying." Harm replied jokingly. "Do you want to feed him?" Harm stood behind Mac with his empty hand holding onto the stable to brace himself, his chest just within a millimeter of her back, and the other hand in front of Mac so she could get the sugar cubes.

"Can I?" She turned her head to look at Harm to see if she was serious

"Of course you can." Mac turned around facing the pony after Harm answered her and listened intently while Harm told her how to do it. "Some horses will just eat whatever is in your hand, but not Toby." Harm tenderly ran his fingers down Mac's left arm until he reached her hand. He picked up her hand slowly while whispering softly in her ear, telling her the best way to get Toby to eat.

"First you have to pat him, he won't eat until he feels comfortable with you." Harm took Mac's hand and began to gently pat Toby's side. Mac couldn't stop the goose bumps from forming on her arm at the close contact she was having with Harm. But maybe it was a good thing she had goose bumps while Harm was next to her. Maybe now he would realize the affect he had on her.

Harm did notice the raised hairs on Mac's arm and smiled knowing he had them too.

"Once you pat him for a few seconds, you take a sugar cube and put it in your hand. Then you put your hand under his nose so he can smell it. If he wants it, then he'll eat it. If he doesn't want it he'll push your hand away with his nose." Harm paused for a moment so Mac could take in what he just told her. "Try it."

Harm removed his hand from Mac's and placed it on her hip, holding her to him. Mac picked a sugar cube from Harm's hand, rolled it into her palm then placed her hand under Toby's nose while she continued to pat his side. At first he pushed her hand away but Mac was persistent about it. She kept patting his side for a few seconds before putting her hand back under Toby's nose. He sniffed the cube a few times before licking it out of Mac's hand. She couldn't help the giggle that escaped her mouth at the feeling of his tongue on her palm and the sound of her giggle made Harm smile. She hadn't laughed or giggled out of happiness in quite some time and it was like music to Harm's ears.

Mac looked back at Harm to see if he was paying attention to her and Toby; the smile on his face answered her question. She faced Toby again and started to feed him the rest of the sugar cubes.

"You did good, Marine. It's nice to see you smiling again." Harm whispered into her ear before placing a soft kiss onto her shoulder. He took his arm and wrapped it around Mac's waist for a brief moment, holding her firmly against his chest. Mac closed her eyes and rested the back of her head on Harm's shoulder, just enjoying the tranquility of the moment. But with the calmness came confusion. Her emotions had been in constant conflict and she was getting extremely tired of it. She knew she had to do something about them soon; it wasn't fair for Harm to be waiting around for her to be ready when **she** didn't even know when that would be.

Mac exhaled in frustration, louder than she thought, and opened her eyes, knowing that their tender moment was over. Harm knew she was still working through some of her issues, so he opted to not ask if she was okay.

"You ready to see the rest of the farm?"

When Mac nodded in response, Harm released her from his embrace and led the way out through the entrance of the barn after grabbing the sweater, leading them back onto the path coming from the front of the house.

They walked for a few feet in total silence, with what felt like a mile of space between them for Mac. She wrapped her arms around her waist, missing Harm's warmth after only a few short minutes without him at her side. Harm noticed and draped the zip-up sweatshirt over Mac's shoulders. She smiled to herself at the considerate thought he had before putting her arms through the sleeves and zipping it up half way. Even with the sweatshirt on, Mac still felt cold, but it had nothing to do with the temperature.

So choosing to live in the moment and making a bold decision, in her eyes anyway, she stepped closer towards Harm and wrapped her hands around his arm, hugging it to her side. She waited a moment to gauge his reaction only to find he didn't have one, not even a flinch. He acted almost as if it were an everyday occurrence, like he knew it was going to happen. At least Mac knew he was comfortable with how close she was standing to him.

Harm nodded with his head toward the right of the path. "A few feet ahead are the cows…they tend to smell so you might want to block your nose." Harm nudged Mac's side playfully, getting a smile in response.

Once they passed the fenced in area with the cows, Harm led them to the left of the road, where the bend is. After they walked a few more feet, Mac's hands began to itch, almost like they were becoming impatient, wondering when they were going to move to their next destination. Mac decided she had to go for it…now. She just had to see what it felt like, to see if it would feel different than the other times they had done it.

So before Mac gave herself the chance to change her mind, she took one hand from Harm's arm and put it in her sweater pocket while she slid her other hand into his, intertwining their fingers together.

Now that was easier than she thought it would be, it wasn't uncomfortable or awkward in anyway. On the contrary, it felt…natural, like her hand belonged in his. This time, it definitely didn't feel like any of the other times they held hands. They weren't shaking hands with each other for business reasons, and they weren't holding hands to comfort each other. This time they were holding hands to express their emotions in a way that didn't require words. It told Harm that she was almost ready to start something with him, and it told Mac that maybe she was making a bigger deal out of this than she needed to. It made Mac realize all she had to do was reach out and grab onto whom she wanted.

While they walked Mac started to analyze their entwined fingers and they way they fit together like puzzle pieces. Whether they were entwined tightly or loosely, the digits still fit together like a glove, almost as if they were made for each other and each other only.

"Now this, this is my favorite part of the entire farm." Harm, who had been relatively quiet throughout the tour, spoke up. He pointed with his free hand toward a small, stone two-tiered waterfall. The water fall making up the top tier and the bottom being a fishpond. Off to the right rested a hammock being held up by two large pine trees. The duo stopped long enough for each to enjoy the sight of it before continuing on the tour.

Once they walked a few more feet, Mac noticed the fenced in grassy area, where she assumed the horses went, and the back of the barn where the horses currently were. She was kind of sad, knowing that their tour and peaceful time together was almost over.

Harm and Mac walked about fifty more feet until they reached the front door to the barn. Harm turned and faced Mac, hands still enclosed together. He stared deeply into her eyes, trying to read her thoughts and emotions, before coming to a conclusion. Mac changed, or so he thought. To him, Mac wasn't just his partner at JAG; she wasn't just his best friend and the godmother to his godchildren. She was _Sarah, _the beautiful brunette woman who stole his heart almost nine years ago. She was his recent past, his present and his future…she was his everything.

Feeling over-come with emotion, Harm leaned down and softly placed his lips on top of hers for a short but sweet kiss. Not long enough to scare her away or make her feel pressured, but long enough to let her know he was still hers for the taking. All she had to do was grab on to him. Harm took his hand from Mac's, releasing their entwined fingers, and brought it up to brush a hair out of her eyes before framing her face.

Mac, a bit dazed, asked, "What was that for?"

Harm replied softly, "I just wanted to kiss you." Mac looked into his eyes and knew he was telling the truth. He didn't have a hidden agenda, he just wanted to express his emotions to her.

Mac leaned up to give Harm a kiss but stopped short when the front door opened.

"Well good morning you early birds. I was wondering what happened to you." Grams smiled brightly at them, knowing she just interrupted something they wished they could've finished. She moved aside so Harm and Mac could step into the house then shut the door. Trish come in from the kitchen and kissed Harm on the cheek.

"Morning dear."

"Morning mom." He tried to sound normal but he wouldn't have been surprised if it wasn't. He was too busy thinking about what would've happened had Grams not opened the door.

"Now Harmon, why did you have Sarah out so early in the morning. You knew I was going to take her into town with me this morning to get food for the Mother's Day dinner tomorrow."

"I was just giving her a tour of the farm, Grams. Besides, the store is open all day."

Grams just gave him a knowing smile. "A tour…so that's what you kids are calling it these days. Back in my day we called that neckin'!"

Mac started to blush heatedly. She looked up at Harm and said, "I think I'll go change now." She walked quickly to the stairs attempting to hide her blush.

"Feel free to use the shower, dear!" Grams yelled. She thought about telling Mac to make it a cold one but she didn't want to embarrass her too much, Grams hadn't even had the chance to get to know her yet.

Trish grabbed Harm by the arm and said, "C'mon Harm, help me feed the cows." Harm's last thought before being dragged out of the house was 'Oh no…"

**Part 8**

**Grandma Sarah's Farm**

**Bellevue**

**0804 (8:04 local)**

Harm walked up the dirt path past the horses and toward the cows, his hands in his pockets staring at the ground in nervousness. He was a grown man, been in situations where nerves weren't allowed, situations that only required action. But this wasn't one of those situations; this situation was going to require answers. Some he had and some he didn't, but the answers would make his nerves go into over-drive. Not because of the questions he knew were coming, but because it was his mother that would be asking them.

Sure, he had a close relationship with his mother, he could tell her anything. And she could do the same; it was more of a best-friend relationship rather than a mother-son relationship. But when it came to Harm and women, well that was one aspect of his life that he didn't like to share with her. Not because he was afraid of her opinion of these women, but because to her, these women wanted to come and take her son away from her and she just wasn't going allow that. To Harm, that was the reason for her being snippy and semi-mean towards the women in his life that she did meet. And that was why he was nervous about talking about Mac to his mother. But Harm knew this was a conversation they needed to have, especially if Mac was going to remain in his life.

Trish knew why Harm was nervous and she really couldn't blame him for that either. She also knew Harm was mentally preparing himself for the talk they were about to have. She could've told him that he was making a big deal out of nothing but it was more fun for her to see him get himself worked up. Evil yes, but she knew Harm wouldn't mind because he'd probably do the same to her.

Trish took advantage of Harm not paying attention and just continued to walk, by passing the cows and veering towards the bend in the road. They could feed the cows the next time around for now it was time to talk.

"She seems to be special to you." Trish's voice wasn't laced with sarcasm, negativity or any of the other feelings Harm was sure she would have. Instead, she sounded interested in the role Mac had in her son's life.

Harm looked up at his mother to see if he was hearing things. When she just smiled reassuringly at him. Well this was different; she wasn't being at all judgmental.

He nodded his head then responded, "Yeah, she is."

"Then why is it that you two aren't together?" Ah, the million dollar question. The question both Harm and Mac knew the answer too but for the longest time couldn't seem to do anything about it. It was a good thing they were starting to change that.

After clearing his throat, he replied. "Well, for starters there's work. It's against the rules for two officers in the same chain of command to have a relationship. So if we were to become romantically involved one of us would have to give up their careers."

Trish nodded her head in understanding at the dilemma the couple faced. It's hard having a regular relationship nowadays, never mind trying to have one with someone in the military.

"Well what if work wasn't an issue?" Harm just looked at his mother questioningly. Trish was involved with a military man once, so he assumed she would know work would always be an issue. Whether it was because of the traveling, war, the missions or the cases, there was always something…

"I mean, just pretend for a second that it was allowed for two officers in the same chain of command to date. Would the two of you be 'romantically involved' as you put it?"

Harm thought about his answer for a moment. If it were up to him he and Mac would've gotten together a long time ago. But he knew that the both of them had way too much baggage to work through before they could even think about a relationship with the other.

However, once Harm finally got over his past, he knew he couldn't have a future unless Mac was involved. Now it was up to Mac to finish working through her issues before they could start anything.

"I know, with a doubt, that I want to be with Mac. And I hope that she wants to be with me too. It's just…she's been through a lot over the past year and she has some things she needs to deal with. I told her when she felt ready to start something all she had to do was come find me, and I'd be ready too."

The pair walked in silence for a few moments, each wrapped up in their own thoughts. They walked past the back of the barn before walking up towards the house when Harm noticed Mac standing on the passengers side of the station wagon, waiting for Grams to reach over and unlock her door. Mac looked up and caught his gaze, sending him a soft smile before getting into the vehicle.

Trish noticed the smile Mac sent to Harm and couldn't help but smile herself. Her son was so in love with this woman it made her want to cry out of happiness. Every mother waits for the day their child comes home to say they found the one person they want to spend the rest of their lives with. For Harm, he didn't have to say a single word, his mother already knew.

"You know I'm still going to have a chat with her, right?"

Harm looked down at his mother in nervousness, only to find playfulness shining in her eyes. The questions he was expecting about Mac's deep, dark secrets and issues from her past never came up. For that he was thankful.

"I know. Just go easy on her, she seemed to be kind of nervous about meeting you." Harm told his mother with a tone that meant he was serious. He didn't want Mac to run for hills after her talk with Trish.

Trish just smiled playfully before looping her arm through Harms and said, "C'mon Harm, lets go feed those cows."

**Grams' Station Wagon**

**En Route to Sam's Market**

**0857 (8:57 local)**

Mac sat with her hands fidgeting nervously in her lap. She wasn't sure what came over her. This morning while she was touring the farm, she felt comfortable and relaxed. It seemed so natural for she and Harm to be holding hands and when he kissed her, even though it was just a short peck on the lips, she felt so completely and utterly…happy.

That was until the lady in the drivers seat whipped open the door and ruined the moment. Had Grams not interrupted them, she would've kissed Harm and it definitely wouldn't have been just a peck on the lips.

But this one woman evoked so many emotions in Mac it was unbelievable. Grams made her feel nervous and scared; like she was about to take a final exam without having had the opportunity to even open the book to study. Grams also had a wholesomeness to her that made Mac feel like she'd known this woman for years and they were the best of friends.

"Sarah dear, it seems to me you've caught the interest of my grandson." Grams tone was nothing but pure interest. She was happy that Harm had found someone, especially a beautiful someone. And it helped that her name was Sarah, too.

Mac, not sure about where the conversation was going, answered the question in the safest way she could think of. "You think so?" Of course she already knew the answer to that. That's what makes her such a good lawyer; she only asks the questions she already knows the answers too.

Grams smiled at the tactic Mac used. You see, Grams was married to a lawyer so she knew rule very well.

"Oh, I know so." Her voice dropped the playfulness tone when she replied tenderly, "He's different when he's with you Sarah, almost like you make him better in every way possible." Grams paused a moment, partially for dramatic affect and partially so Mac could take in her words. "He's much more caring and gentle when he's around you."

"When he comes up here by himself he exudes this macho persona, like he's the man of the house. But this time he's reserved, and careful. Like he wants to make sure you feel comfortable with everything before being himself."

Mac didn't know what to say. Yes, she had noticed the difference in Harm's behavior but she just chalked it up to his 'revelation' about wanting to be with her. She didn't read as much into it as Grams did.

"I'm not sure I know what to say." Mac paused before saying the only words that seemed right to her. "I'm sorry if you think I'm trying to change him because I'm really not trying too. I like Harm just the way he is and I don't want him to change either."

Grams took one of her hands from the steering wheel before placing it on top of Mac's fidgeting ones. "Nonsense, don't be sorry dear. I know you're not trying to change him but you have, whether you realize it or not. He's become a much more caring and loving person. He's transformed into this man that Trish and I knew he was capable of becoming but never thought we'd see."

Mac looked down at the hands in her lap. Grams' old, arthritis-ridden fingers were attempting to run over hers in a soothing manner.

"I guess what I'm trying to say Sarah, is thank you." Mac looked over at Grams with un-shed tears in her eyes. She didn't know why she was making such a big deal out of this car ride. Mac thought Grams would want to know every nuance of her relationship with Harm and what it was about Harm and interested her. But she was wrong, Grams' was happy that Mac was a part of her grandson's life. Grams was just a happy woman in general.

"Don't cry dear, you'll get wrinkles." Mac laughed at Grams' attempt at humor. She was glad that Grams liked her, or so that was the vibe Mac was getting from the woman. But there was still one other woman in Harm's life she had to get past…Trish.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part Nine Part Nine**

**Grandma Sarah's Farm**

**Bellevue**

**1043 (10:43 local)**

"Sarah, would you mind giving me a hand in the kitchen?" Mac looked up from her perch on the couch next to Harm at the sound of Trish's voice. When Grams and Mac got back from the market, Harm helped them in with the groceries before taking a seat on the couch with Mac while Grams and Trish put the food away.

Mac secretly hoped for a few moments alone with Harm before she talked with Trish, but apparently that wasn't the case. He squeezed her hand gently and gave her an encouraging smile before she stood and walked into the kitchen. Grams left the kitchen giving Trish and Mac some privacy before filling Mac's seat next to Harm.

After a few moments of silence, Grams reached over and covered Harm's hand in hers. "I must say Harmon, I am very fond of your Sarah." Harm looked over at his grandmother with a smile before replying, "Well I'm very fond of her too, Grams."

Grams pulled her gaze away from Harm before staring down into her lap. "She and I had a nice long chat on the way to Sam's Market. She's a very nice woman and she has a heart of gold also." Harm nodded at his grandmother's assessment of Mac and couldn't agree with her more. Mac was the type of person who would do anything for anyone, as long as she had the chance to.

Grams voiced dropped down to a soft whisper with the hope that Mac wouldn't over hear her. "She's afraid, you know, to love you." Harms eyes bulged out of his head, his chin falling into his lap. He hadn't even reached that conclusion yet, although he was close. But how was it possible for his grandmother to know that?

"She…She told you that?" Harm stammered then looked at his grandmother in disbelief. He had known Mac for nine years and not once had she ever come out and told him that, although he didn't expect her too.

"No Harmon, she didn't tell me that. But it's pretty easy to see." Grams waited a moment for Harm to absorb what she was saying before continuing in a sensitive voice. "If you look into her eyes deep enough, you can see how frightened she is to lose your friendship. But her face…her face when she looks at you displays nothing but love. Maybe you never noticed, or maybe you have and just confused it with something else. But she does love you dear, she just needs a little bit more time to come to terms with it."

Harm wasn't quite sure what to say. Of course he'd always hoped that Mac loved him, and not just the type of love you have for you best friend. The real love, the love you have for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. How was it that his grandmother had more of an insight into what Mac was feeling after only a few hours of knowing her and he was still a bit out of the loop after nine years of friendship?

"Love isn't something you can force, Harmon. You can't just snap your fingers and say, 'I'm going to love this person.' It's something that has to develop and grow on it's own. I'm not saying that she doesn't love you already, but I'm sure Mac's almost ready to love you Harmon. I mean after all, she did come up here to meet your family. That has to count for something, right?"

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Trish was breaking up the freshly washed lettuce while Mac cut and chopped the vegetables for the salads they were having for lunch. Mac wasn't sure having a knife in her possession was the greatest idea right now, seeing as how her hands were shaking like leaves.

Mac knew the talk with Harm's mother was inevitable, she was going to have to have it sooner or later. She would've preferred to have it later rather than sooner, but at least she could get it over with. Mac only hoped that her talk with Trish would be as easy as the talk she had with Grams.

"Sarah dear, you and Harm have been friends for how long now?" Trish already knew the answer to that, but she didn't want to dive into the deeper questions first and give Mac the wrong impression of her.

"Uh…We've been friends for nine years." Mac was downright nervous. She could feel the knife slipping in her hands due to the moisture forming in her palms. She put the knife down and subconsciously wiped her hands on her jeans before resuming her chopping.

Trish smiled to herself when she seen Mac wiping her hands on her jeans. She wasn't trying to make Mac nervous, she just wanted to get to know the woman who captured her son's heart.

"That's an awfully long time to be friends with someone. Are you surprised neither one of you have been transferred yet?"

Mac took in a deep breath…this was harder than she thought. Trish, so far, was only asking simple questions but to Mac it felt more like an interrogation instead of a 'getting to know you' session.

"Well yes, I am surprised that we haven't been reassigned somewhere. It's unheard of to be stationed in one place for so long but it's a blessing also. You grow close to those around you so for me, the work place doesn't always seem like work. It's kind of more like a gathering place for me and my friends."

"As for my friendship with Harm…" Mac paused a moment, trying to think of the proper words to finish her sentence. 'Friend' didn't seem adequate enough to describe Harm and 'Best Friend' didn't feel right to her. Yes, he was her best friend but he was so much more than that. He was the godfather to her godchildren, he was the one constant she had in her life…he was her rock. But she certainly couldn't tell his mother that…could she?

Mac ceased chopping and put the knife down on the cutting board before looking over the counter top towards Harm and his grandmother. "Harm is the one person I know I can always count on; he'd never betray me or our friendship and for that I am forever grateful."

Trish smiled brightly at hearing Mac's answer. That's the answer she was looking for. Mac didn't say the first thing that came to her mind in an effort to hurry along with their conversation. She took the time to think about what Harm truly meant to her before responding and that was when Trish knew. That's when she knew Sarah was the one for Harm. Mac may not have come out and said the words in plain English, but underneath the answer lays the honest to god truth. Sarah was in love with her son, and that was all Trish needed to know.

Trish wiped her hands on her jeans in an effort to rid them of the lettuce pieces then walked over to where Mac was sitting at the end of the island. Once Trish made it over to Mac, she wrapped her arm around Mac's shoulder and whispered, "Welcome to the family, Sarah."

Mac couldn't help herself; tears of happiness filled her eyes at the sheer joy exploding inside her. She wasn't sure what she said to cause Trish to respond in that manner, but she would say it again as long as she could continue to feel this blissful.

**Part Ten**

**Grandma Sarah's Farm**

**Bellevue**

**2032 (8:32 local)**

Harm sat on his bed with a magazine in his lap. The day had progressed rather fast for his liking. They four of them ate their lunches in relative silence after he, Grams, his mother and Mac finished talking. After their meal they all went and did different activities to pass the time. Mac went into her room to read, Grams went for a nap, his mother did some yard work and he went about fixing the shed that housed the cow feed.

Before they knew it, it was time for dinner. Once again, the meal was passed in relative silence, the group too wrapped up in their own thoughts to worry about making conversation. Trish and Grams were happy that Harm had finally found someone who made him totally and completely happy. Harm worried about the talk Mac had with his mother and Mac continued to work through some of her issues.

The more she thought about it, the more Mac realized she was pushing away the one person who could help her through her issues. She realized that working through things was harder to do when she did it by herself, instead of asking Harm for some advice. All she had to do was talk to Harm, like he told her to do once before. Maybe if she talked to Harm, she would be ready to start a relationship with him sooner than she thought.

As for Harm, all he kept thinking about was Mac's conversation with his mother. When Grams told him it looked like Mac was crying, all of the worst possible scenarios entered his mind. His mother brought up children, her past, or even her future. But when his grandmother told him not to worry because Mac didn't appear to be upset, he started to imagine the possible conversations they could've had to make Mac cry...period.

A soft knock on his door brought him out of his reverie. He looked up to see Mac with a sheepish look on her face. Mac wasn't feeling as confident as she had been earlier that morning. Her emotions were starting to calm and she wasn't sure what to make of it.

"I'm sorry to ask you this but you wouldn't happen to have an extra shirt lying around, would you? It seems I forgot to pack an extra pajama shirt." She stood in his doorway wearing peach colored pajama bottoms and a white tank top.

Harm just smiled and pointed to the top draw of his bureau. Mac walked into the room and over towards the dresser before pulling the draw out. She noticed how the draw only had a few articles of clothing and couldn't help herself from asking, "Don't you think you under packed a bit, Harm?" She grabbed a t-shirt and shut the draw before throwing the shirt over her head and onto her body.

Harm waited until Mac turned towards him before replying honestly, "No, that draw has all the extra clothes that I packed. I knew you were going to forget to bring something so I brought an extra piece of everything in case you needed something."

Mac looked at Harm in awe. He knew her so well sometimes it was almost scary. It was a known fact though, whenever they went away on missions she would always forget to pack something. Most of the time it was socks but this time she forgot a shirt.

Mac continued to stare at Harm, like she was trying to figure something out. Harm just sat on his bed, waiting for her to reach whatever conclusion it was that she was searching for.

However, he wasn't expecting her to walk over to his bed and sit down next to him, her chin resting on her knee. Her eyes fixed onto his, searching for something positive to grasp on to. Here was this gorgeous man, right in front of her, hers for the taking but yet she continued to keep him at an arms length away. She continued to tell herself she deserved to be happy and loved and all she had to do to get those things was grab onto the man in front of her.

After a few moments of staring at Harm, Mac whispered, "I'm sorry." Before Harm had the chance to question her she continued. "I'm sorry for pushing you away, for making you think you were waiting around for something that wasn't going to happen." Mac paused for a moment in an effort to stop the tears from forming in her eyes but it was to no avail. The floodgates were open and she was going to cry; she needed to cry. She needed to cry to rid herself of all the negative feelings she had of herself.

"I know that I shouldn't have pushed you away, I didn't mean too. I was just…I'm so afraid, Harm." Harm reached over and picked Mac up, placing her on his lap before wrapping his arms around her. He opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it. It was best to just let Mac say what needed to be said.

"I'm afraid that if we take the next step, and something happens we won't be friends anymore. And I can't let that happen, Harm. Your friendship is so important to me. If we lost that…god, I don't know what I would do." Mac sniffled softly before burying her head in Harm's shoulder.

Harm hated it when she cried, especially when she did it because of him or something involving him. And this time was no different. He held her tightly to his chest, unwilling to let her go. "You won't lose me, Mac…ever. I'm not going anywhere please believe that. I'm here for as long as you want me."

With that comment Mac sobered. That's what it all came down to really. It all depended on whether or not Mac wanted him too. He told her a week ago that he wanted to be with her, now it was all up to her.

Mac lifted her head from its perch on Harm's shoulder before looking him deeply in the eyes. For the first time she noticed the depth of his emotions for her. The love and security he'd been offering her for quite some time was shining brightly through his ocean blue orbs. She brushed the tears from her cheeks with her fingertips before wiping her hands on her pajama bottoms.

Hesitantly, Mac placed one of her hands on Harms chest over his heart while the other one grasped his chin, holding his face in place, their gazes locked. She knew now was the time to say what needed to be said. She was living for today and fighting for her future all with a simple sentence.

So with her voice just above a whisper, loud enough for Harm to hear she said, "I do want you, Harm. I'm tired of pretending that I don't." The smile on Harm's face was bright enough to light up the entire house. He was just so happy at the moment, he felt like he won the lottery.

Mac felt Harm's heartbeat accelerate at her declaration and in that moment she knew, that everything would be okay. "I still have some things I need to work through, but I can't do it alone. If you don't want to help me then I guess I understand…" Mac's face fell at having to ruin the moment of bliss. She didn't want to burden Harm with her problems but he had to know what he was getting himself into.

Mac was giving Harm an out. If he wanted, which she hoped he didn't, he could walk away from her and move on with his life. She had to at least give him the option because if she didn't she would constantly think he was sticking around out of kindness. And that was something she wouldn't be able to deal with.

Harm lifted Mac's chin with his index finger. "Whatever it is Mac, we'll get through it…together. You're stuck with me now, Marine; there's no getting rid of me." Harm smiled to let Mac know he was joking and she smiled briefly before turning serious.

"I don't want to get rid of you, Harm…ever. I want you to stay with me…" Mac trailed off for a moment trying to dig up the courage to say a single word that could make or break them. "…always." She looked up at Harm in nervousness, hoping she didn't overstep her boundaries, asking for so much from him already.

Harm dropped his hand from Mac's chin before resting his forehead on hers, looking deeply into her chocolate brown eyes. "Always Mac, that's what I want too." She smiled brightly in response and wrapped her arms around his neck and shoulders, holding him tightly to her.

For the first time in a very long time, Mac felt truly and completely happy. She finally had the most important thing anyone could ever ask for and that was a soul mate.

After a few moments of Mac squeezing the daylights out of Harm, she relented her hold on him then rested her head in the crook of his neck. She breathed in his masculine scent, relishing in the fact that the drop-dead-gorgeous man in her arms was all hers. Surely she must have died and gone to heaven. Mac lifted her head from his shoulder for a moment to look at Harm…no, she was in fact still alive and he was still hers.

Finally feeling free of her negative emotions, Mac decided it was time to finally 'seal the deal' so to speak, with Harm. Mac rubbed her nose with Harm's, giving him an Eskimo kiss before saying, " I love you, Harm."

At his whispered, "I love you too, Sarah," Mac placed a gentle hand on his cheek before bringing her lips to his. This kiss, however, wasn't anything like their kiss on the porch earlier this morning. That kiss spoke of things to come and reassurances. This kiss however, started as a soft caress of the lips, just taking a small taste of each other, before progressing into a deeper, more meaningful kiss; an earth-shattering kiss of deep, raw emotion finally being released.

Unfortunately, the need for air became too strong and the pair separated, each taking deep breaths in an effort to calm their racing hearts and burning lungs. Mac's yawn brought a chuckle out of Harm along with his sultry comment. "Tired already, Marine? We haven't even started." Mac punched his arm playfully.

"Yes, I'm tired, I've been up for almost fifteen hours. And, might I add, during those fifteen hours, I had two emotionally charged conversations and I cried…twice."

Harm trailed his fingers up Mac's arm in a soothing manner. "I was just playing with you, Mac. If you're tired then go to bed." Mac looked at him a bit sheepish before replying, "Well, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like to sleep in here with you."

Harm smiled brightly before replying, "I think that can be arranged." He tapped Mac's legs, signaling her to stand so he could stand also, before pulling the covers down and climbing into bed first, Mac following after.

Mac lay on her side, her back to Harm's chest and her head on his arm while his other arm held her securely to him. One hand held his to her chest while the other rested on her belly, fingers intertwined. Harm kissed her softly before saying, "Good night" into her ear. Mac mumbled incoherently already half asleep. She was sure to have some good dreams tonight…


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone! I know, I know, I'm posting again. Sorry to burst your bubble, I know how much you guys hate it when I update this story. ;) Just kidding...**

**Anywho, the reason why I'm posting again so soon is because I'm in a good mood today. Not only did you guys leave me nice comments, which I love finding, but tomorrow is Friday which means the weekend is almost here, and I LOVE the weekend. So as you can tell I'm very excited. **

**So because of my excitement I decided to post again. I must warn you, though. I am currently working on two other projects and putting the finishing touches on this so I probably won't post again for a few days. I promise I will have another update by Monday, just as long as nobody shoots me before then.**

**Grandma Sarah's Farm**

**Bellevue**

**0953 (9:53 local)**

Mac awoke to the feeling of total contentment, wrapped in Harm's arms, his soft breath warming her face and the morning sun filtering in through the windows, casting the room with a glow.

She knew she should probably wake Harm up, seeing as how they were supposed to be up hours ago, but she was feeling a bit selfish this morning. She knew if they went downstairs Harm would be whisked away by either his mother or his grandmother and given orders to do yard work while the girls prepped for their Mother's Day feast.

So instead of waking him at that current moment, Mac decided she would just watch him sleep. His head resting on her pillow, inches away from her face. His eyelids closed loosely, fighting to remain shut against the morning sun and his hair going in many different directions. But her favorite feature of his face so early in the morning, was by far, the way the corners of his mouth turned slightly upward, forming a soft smile.

The sound of pots banging ruined the moment for Mac, and that was when she decided it was time to wake him up. Oh, the many ways she thought to do so. But she decided to choose the safest one…kisses. She leaned over closing the short distance between her face and his, placing feather light kisses all over his face. Starting from his forehead, before going to the only cheek he had available, down to his chin, up to the tip of his nose before ending at the corner of his mouth.

With a smile and a soft whisper, she said, "Harm…Harm you have to wake up." He tightened his hold on her, bringing her body flush against his then replied, "Five more minutes."

Mac smiled knowing that would be his answer but if they didn't get up soon either Trish or Grams were bound to wander upstairs and find them in bed together…talk about embarrassing. She brought a hand up to cup his cheek before kissing him softly on the lips, only to receive a smile in return.

"Hmm…I can wake up like this every day for the rest of my life." Mac smiled at his comment knowing she felt the same. It took her twenty years to finally find true happiness and now that she had she wasn't letting it go…ever. She took the hand that was resting on his cheek and brought it up to run it softly through his hair.

"Harm you have to get up…your mother and grandmother are probably waiting for us downstairs. And unless you want them coming upstairs to find me in your bed, I suggest you get motivated." Mac smiled to herself, feeling pretty confident that by mentioning his mother, grandmother, and bed all in the same sentence, he would fly out of bed…

Not this time. Instead, he chuckled to himself at the image of his mother walking in to find him in bed with Mac then opened his eyes. "The only person I'd ever get out of bed for is lying in bed with me. So the way I see it, as long as you're lying here, then I'm going to lye here too."

Mac giggled at Harm's reasoning then attempted to get out of bed. However, that proved to be a bit difficult seeing as how Harm had a death grip on her and every time she wiggled in an effort to get up, he held on tighter. She couldn't help but laugh at his antics; she couldn't recall at any one point in time during their friendship, where Harm was so lax and carefree. But I guess that's what love does to people.

Finally, Mac decided it was time for the big guns. While Harm concentrated on holding her too him, she slowly and discreetly moved her hand until it was close enough to his side then started tickling him like one would do to a child. Harm squirmed at her touch before releasing his hold on her. Mac used the opportunity to slide off her side of the bed laughing all the way into a standing position.

Harm looked up from his spot on the bed into Mac's laughing face; god she was beautiful; her bangs falling into her eyes, hair uncombed and in soft waves falling just below her shoulders. He could get lost just looking at her.

But before he allowed that to happen, he stood up from the bed with a smile on his face. "That was sneaky, Marine." Slowly, Harm made his way to Mac's side of the bed.

"Harm…" Mac backed away while giving him a warning glare

"I think I'm going to have to get you back for that one." Harm jolted over towards Mac before she even had the chance to blink, wrapping his arms around her waist, picking her up and spinning her around a few times before putting her down, all while she continued to laugh.

Once her feet were firmly planted on the floor, Harm rested his forehead on hers and looked loving into her eyes. "Good morning, beautiful."

Before Mac had the chance to say, "Good morning, handsome," Harm was kissing her. It wasn't demanding or full of raw emotion like their kiss from last night. It was just a soft, gentle caress of his lips to hers, promising her all the love he had in his being.

After a few seconds, Mac reluctantly pulled away from his lips and rested her forehead on his. "I hate to do this, but we really need to get going." Harm nodded his head in agreement, knowing it was true but still not liking the idea.

"I'll shower first so you can tidy up in here, get your clothes ready and do whatever else you need to do. Sound like a plan?" At Harm's nod, Mac gave him one final peck on the lips before going to her room to gather her clothes.

Harm shook his head in awe. He never would've thought that his patience with this one woman would give him the greatest reward he could've ever asked for…her love. When he promised himself to live for today, he thought all he would have to do is just tell her how he felt but that wasn't the case. She never doubted his love for her…she doubted it ever coming to a head.

But what it all came down to was Harm's patience and his decision to live for today by no longer hiding his emotions for Mac. And in the end, the pay off was her loving him in return.

The one thought that continued to flow through his mind while he gathered his clothes for a shower was, "Man, I should've done this a long time ago…"

Once both Harm and Mac were showered, they met up briefly in Mac's room. As soon as Harm entered Mac's bedroom, he walked right up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist after she turned to face him, doing the same.

"Did you miss me?" Harm smiled jokingly at Mac and she smiled fully in return.

"Of course I did. I always miss you when you're not with me." Harm looked into her eyes and knew her answer had a deeper meaning than she was willing to talk about at the current moment in time.

Before the chance came for Harm to ask her what she was thinking about, Mac continued the conversation. "So what are we going to tell your mother and Grams? About us, I mean."

If Harm's assumption was correct, Grams and Trish would be able to tell a change happened in his relationship with Mac based on the huge grin he'd been unable to wipe from his face since last night. Of course he'd want to tell them that he and Mac finally decided to be together. But this wasn't just about him; Mac was involved with the decision too.

Harm ran his hands up and down Mac's arms in a reassuring manner before responding. "Well, I know that I would like to tell them about us. But if you'd like to wait then that's fine with me too."

Mac shook her head. "No, I want to tell them. I'm just not sure I know how to bring it up."

Harm crinkled his brow in thought before saying, "How about we tell them at dinner tonight. That is if they don't figure it out before."

Mac gave him a questioning look before asking, "How would they figure out something changed unless we tell them?"

Harm smiled mischievously before replying, "Because I'm finding it very, very hard to keep my hands off of you and that's something neither mom nor Grams is going to be able to ignore." Harm pulled Mac flush against him and gave her a loving kiss on the lips.

After a few seconds Mac pulled away knowing they had to start the day. "C'mon Sailor, let's go start our day." She laced her fingers with Harm's before the pair left her bedroom and making their way down the stairs and into the living room.

"Why good morning you two! And here I thought you were just going to stay in bed and cuddle all day!" Grams walked away from the radio and up to Mac as she and Harm made their way through the living room. Grams reached out and put a hand on Mac's shoulder. "Unless you want Trish jumping all over you as soon as you walk into that kitchen, I suggest you let go of Harmon's hand, dear." Mac smiled nervously at Grams then released Harm's hand.

Grams followed Harm and Mac into the kitchen where Trish was pulling food out of the refrigerator for them to prep. "Look who I found, Trish. See, I knew there were around here somewhere." Grams smiled sweetly at Trish and Mac.

"Well good morning strangers. I thought you two would never get out of bed." Trish smiled at her son before standing on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Morning Harm." Harm replied in kind before asking, "What do you want us to do?"

Grams looked up at Harm with a knowing smile. She knew what Harm was doing and she wasn't going to let him get away with it. He figured if he'd ask then he would get assigned a job in the kitchen so he could be close to Mac. But not this time…

"Nonsense Harmon, your on yard duty today. It's going to be just us girls in the kitchen." At the slight look of disappointment on his face, Grams gave him some reassurance. "Don't worry dear, your Sarah is safe with us. We just want to get to know her a little better. Right Trish?" Grams looked at Trish for support.

"Absolutely Sarah." Trish walked over to wear Mac was standing next to the sink and wrapped her arm around Mac's shoulder. "She's in good hands Harmon, don't worry."

Mac smiled nervously at Harm in an attempt to put him at ease. Grams noticed the smile of assurance coming from Mac towards Harm and took it as her cue. Jokingly, Grams waved her hands in a 'shooing' manner; similar to the way an elderly woman would do to a pesky cat. "Go on dear, let us girls have some fun. We'll be through in an hour or so, we don't want to keep Sarah from you all day."

Harm just smiled at his grandmother's antics and left the house, silently hoping Grams and his mother wouldn't bother Mac too much with the personal questions…

For the first few minutes of her cooking session with Grams and Trish, Mac remained quiet, unsure of what to say and slightly afraid she would say the wrong thing. 'Don't speak until spoken too.' It was a rule in her house growing up, one she tired of very easily. She wasn't allowed to speak her opinion or join in conversation with anyone and when she did that meant she had it coming. Whether it was a verbal or physical attack, Mac knew she would receive before she fell asleep that night.

That was a puzzling factor for her when she joined the Marines. She wasn't allowed to speak at home until spoken to but it was just the same during boot camp. If you spoke without being spoken to, you would have to run an extra mile or do an extra set of pull-ups.

And now, she was reverting back to that same old mantra. But this time it involved normal people; people who were happy to know her and be acquainted with her. People who were genuine, loving people that accepted her for who she was. So why was she so afraid to speak this time around?

"So Sarah dear, how long have you and my grandson been dating?" Had Mac still been chopping vegetables, she would've sliced her finger. Mac was sure she never mentioned the Grams that she and Harm were dating and she was pretty sure Harm never said anything of that nature either.

Mac knew Grams wasn't trying to make her feel uncomfortable. It was just the spontaneity of the question that caught her off guard.

She thought hard about how to answer the question. She could answer honestly and be thorough or answer quickly in hopes of ceasing the conversation.

Choosing the easier and truthful option, Mac responded softly. "Well Grams, I guess it depends on how you look at it." At Grams and Trish's questioning glare, Mac continued. "Dating means you spend all of your free time with someone in the hopes of progressing the relationship. And for Harm and myself, it wasn't always like that."

"There were times when that's all we would do was spend all of our spare time together; either having dinner or catching a late movie. And then there were other times when we were with other people where we would only see and speak to each other at work."

"So I can't really say that we've been dating steadily. What I can say is that, we're making the attempt to do so." Mac looked hesitantly at both of the women. She didn't want to say anything until both she and Harm agreed to tell them together. But at their matching smiles Mac was positive that he wouldn't mind her saying anything.

"Oh, that's wonderful dear! I've been telling Harmon for years that he should commit to you!" Grams smiled brightly at Mac before reaching over the countertop to squeeze her hand.

"I agree, that is great news Sarah. I'm happy for the both of you." Trish reached over and took Mac's free hand before copying Grams' action.

After a few moments, Trish asked innocently, "So when are you two going to make me a grandmother?"


	7. Chapter 7

Talk about a sucker punch to the stomach. Mac felt all the air rush out of her body, her heart chipping in a few more places with the knowledge of having to let yet one more person down. Trish couldn't have possibly known about her endometriosis; Harm would never say anything about that unless Mac was okay with it.

Mac pulled her hands out from underneath Grams and Trish's before subconsciously resting them on her stomach much like she did at Harm's apartment just a few nights ago. She splayed her fingers across her flat belly and suddenly felt hollow and empty, aching to feel the little feet of her child kicking her or the feel of her child moving inside her.

But unfortunately, Mac knew that was probably never going to happen for her and as long as she was with Harm, she couldn't give him, Grams or Trish the child and grandchild they were hoping for.

Mac looked up from the imaginary spot on the counter she was staring at and looked from Grams to Trish. Taking a deep breath and summoning all the courage she had, Mac answered Trish's question the best way she could at the current moment.

"Harm and I have talked about kids and we would both like to have them, we're just not sure when that's going to happen."

One look into Mac's eyes told Grams and Trish there was definitely more to what she was saying but they decided to play nice. Instead of probing for more answers they took her response at face value and dropped the topic.

The remainder of the prep session was spent in a fun atmosphere while Trish and Grams sang and danced to the upbeat jazz music filling their surroundings. Mac watched them as they played and joked with happiness and moved around each other with a practiced ease similar to the way an old married couple would.

Once Mac realized her prep work was finished, she snuck out unnoticed through the front door, leaving Grams and Trish dancing in the kitchen. As Mac walked up the path towards the horse barn, she looked around the property for Harm only to come up short, so she continued walking.

Mac was becoming jittery and nervous. She had to talk to Harm. She had to tell him how she was feeling. They agreed they would work through Mac's issues together and this was something they needed to talk about...immediately. She had to find out how he felt about this in order for her to feel as though she hadn't made a mistake choosing to be with him.

Just when her nerves were starting to get the better of her, Mac stumbled upon the waterfall and Harm sitting on the edge of the fishpond, dropping little pellets into the water. One look at him caused Mac to temporarily forget about her fears and her nerves.

Instead, she allowed herself the pleasure to stare at him. He must have just finished a farm chore because his chest was rising and falling in a rapid manner, the way it did after she and him raced in Rock Creek Park. His t-shirt draped over his lap, his entire upper body drenched in sweat, his tank top stuck to him like an extra layer of skin. The only thought going through Mac's mind was, 'My god is he sexy.'

After allowing herself that moment, Mac knew it was now time for business. She took a deep breath and trudged ahead, taking a seat on the edge of the fishpond across from Harm. He looked up and smiled, a genuine 'it's nice to see you' smile. He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek and instantly knew something was wrong when she stiffened at the touch.

Not knowing what to say, Harm started with a simple, "Hey." Mac replied the same and began to fiddle with her thumbs in nervousness. Her nerves and edginess was returning and she hoped it wouldn't erupt into anger.

Harm reached out to put his hand over hers but retracted it before it reached the desired destination. If Mac flinched at his kiss to her cheek he was sure she wouldn't like him touching her hand. "What's the matter?"

Afraid to look him in the eyes, Mac kept her gaze on her hands before responding softly, "We need to talk."

Oh no, Harm knew those four words were never good no matter what the situation and this was no exception. He started to run through the past day and night in his mind, searching for something he might have done wrong so he knew the proper way to apologize for it but couldn't come up with anything.

They started off a bit rocky yesterday and had a few moments until finally admitting to one another how they felt. And that's when he knew. That's when he realized it wasn't something he said or did, whatever it was happened today. It was still fresh and on Mac's mind.

"Was it Grams? Were they asking you questions you didn't want to answer?" Harm didn't mean to sound like an interrogator or harsh with his words but he knew this was going to happen. He asked his mother and grandmother to not stress Mac out with tons of questions. He thought they would take the fact that Mac had never met them before into consideration but then again, they were always tough when it came to the women in Harm's life.

Mac sniffled in an attempt to keep her tears at bay, not willing to release them just yet. She shook her head then spoke. "No, it wasn't anything like that. Everything was fine…until your mother asked me about children."

Mac brought her gaze up to Harm's. She had to see what his reaction would be to this.

Harm's eyes became hard, knowing that one particular topic could possibly be the hardest topic for Mac to talk about. He was angered at the fact that his own mother would put her through that.

But then realization dawned on him. Trish didn't even know about Mac's endometriosis and if she had, Harm was sure she wouldn't have brought children into a conversation. His eyes then turned soft and filled with concern on Mac's behalf.

"Oh Mac, I'm sorry. She didn't…she doesn't know about…you know. I didn't tell her, I don't have the right to do so." Harm scooted closer to Mac and made an attempt to wrap her in an embrace.

Mac bolted into a standing position. It was happening…the hurt and nerves she felt were making her angry and she was un-able to stop it.

"Don't do it." She gave Harm a warning glare which told him he was safer if he didn't move from his perch on the edge of the fishpond.

"This isn't something you can fix with a hug and reassurances, Harm. This is something we have to talk about." Mac was beyond angry. She was furious. She was furious with herself for allowing her emotions to get out of control. She was upset that her emotions caused her to lash out at the people she cared about. And it was all because of an innocent question from an unknowing woman.

Harm knew from the years of experiences that when Mac was angry, pushing her only made it worse. When it became worse, she pushed him away and returned to her shell. And that was something he didn't want to happen.

Instead, he decided to give the calm approach a try. He raised his hands in mock surrender and placed a soft smile on his lips. "Okay Mac, we agreed to talk about these things together so we will. But why don't you sit down first, so you can be comfortable." Harm patted the empty space next to him with the hope of getting Mac to take a seat.

Mac crossed her arms across her chest and shook her head at his tactic. Rather rudely she replied, "No thanks, I'll stand."

There was a silence that wrapped around them, Harm unsure whether to speak first and Mac not quite sure where to begin.

"Why don't you tell me what happened, Mac? Then we'll go from there." Mac exhaled heavily before telling Harm about her talk with Grams and Trish. How she told them about she and him finally deciding to give the relationship a try.

Mac then told Harm about the way Trish just sprung the question of children on her and how it took her a moment to answer.

"What did you tell her?" Harm looked up at Mac and knew this was going to be a tough conversation to have. But this was also a conversation they needed to have.

Mac sighed in frustration then replied softly. "I told her that we talked about having kids but we weren't sure when we were going to have them."

"We can still have kids, Mac. Whenever you're ready." Harm looked up at Mac with hope only to be shot down.

"Don't you get it, Harm? I CAN'T HAVE KIDS! And as long as you're with me you won't have them either!" She was seething mad. If she were a cartoon character, steam would be shooting from her ears, her body becoming red due to the anger. He just wasn't getting it.

All right, so the calm approach wasn't working for Harm anymore. As much as he wanted to stay calm and collected, it looked like it was time for a traditional Harm and Mac fight.

Harm stood up from the fishpond and stepped toward Mac, stopping when he was close enough for comfort, but still giving her the space he knew she wanted.

"The doctor said you have a four percent chance. Let's be real, not the greatest odds. But that doesn't mean we can't adopt or foster." Harm kept his voice low but held a tone that let Mac know he was becoming angry.

"It's not the same, Harm! You're not a woman so you don't understand!"

"Then make me understand!"

"Yes, adopting and fostering a child makes someone a parent. But it's totally different from being a mother, Harm."

"You don't get to feel it move inside you. You don't get to have a product of the love you share with someone. You don't get to give birth to a baby that grows up to look like his or her mother and father, that shares the qualities of each parent."

By the end of her tirade, Mac's anger and voice began to dwindle. She released one of the major burdens she had been carrying. The tears started to slowly fall down her cheeks where she wiped them away with her hands.

Harm sat stunned. He wasn't expecting for Mac to be so angry. He didn't know Mac had been thinking about the situation like that. To him, as long as she had a child she would be a mother but apparently she had different views on the subject.

Harm took another step toward Mac only to feel her hand on his chest, stopping his motion. "As much as I would like for you to hold me right now, you're really sweaty." Mac smiled sweetly at him to assure him she was only joking.

Harm turned and walked back toward the waterfall and picked up his t-shirt. He turned back to Mac and made a show of his next action. He removed his soaking wet tank top leaving him topless and absolutely gorgeous, in Mac's opinion. He then took his shirt and used it like one would use a towel. He wiped it all over his body, freeing himself of the sweat that clung to him.

Once Harm was sure he no longer had sweat covering his body, he took a few steps towards the hammock before lying down on it. After he was situated, he patted the space next to him, motioning for Mac to join him. Mac shook her head 'no' then smiled. But once Harm stuck out his lower lip in a pout, she relented and walked over to him before lying down next to him.

Mac lye on her back with her hands on her stomach while Harm lye on his side, one arm propping up his head and his free hand resting with Mac's on her belly.

It was strange to Mac, how they could go from arguing one minute to cuddling together the next. Before they ventured into the 'dating' aspect of their relationship, every time they argued they spent days and weeks being mad at each other. But now, this being their first fight since becoming official, as soon as they were finished arguing they were back to normal.

Mac looked deeply into Harm's eyes, searching for the reassurances she told him wouldn't help. Along with those reassurances, she also found concern, love, loyalty; all the things she knew were there for quite some time but never really looked for.

"I'm scared, Harm." Mac felt Harm's hand move to her side while he held her firmly to his chest.

Harm kissed her forehead softly then replied, "You don't have to be scared, Mac. I'm not going anywhere."

Mac closed her eyes and swallowed the lump forming in her throat. She didn't want to ruin their newly found moment but this was one other fear she had to rid herself from in order to feel truly happy.

In a voice just above a whisper she spoke. "You keep saying that but there's still this part of me that thinks you're going to get up and leave to find someone who can give you the child that you want. The one with her looks and your brains."

Harm took his thumb and brushed it lightly on her cheek. "The only child I want to have her looks and my brains is the child that we could have." Mac opened her mouth to correct him but he silenced her with his finger.

"I know what I said Mac, and I meant it. I know the thought of never being physically capable of bearing a child is hurtful to you. But it's hurtful to me too." When Mac looked at him skeptically, Harm continued. "I would've loved to see you barefoot and pregnant, Sarah. To be there for your first doctors appointment. I wanted to be able to hold you in my arms and talk to the baby in your belly, tell her everything about her parents and the world."

Harm opened him mouth to continue but stopped when he noticed the smile forming on Mac's lips.

"What?" Harm crinkled his brow. What they were talking about was anything but funny.

"You said 'her.' You said you wanted to tell 'her' about things." Mac's smile became full force once Harm removed his finger from her lips. "You wanted a girl?"

Harm smiled fully in return. "I do want a girl, Mac." Harm kissed her gently on the lips before they settled into the hammock, each telling the future they imagined for themselves and enjoying the peace they felt with each other…


	8. Chapter 8

**Grandma Sarah's Farm**

**Bellevue**

**1835 hours (6:35 pm local)**

Harm and Mac enjoyed their time on the hammock, each of them hoped it could continue but both knew they had to go. For them, the remainder of the day passed by quickly, each too engrossed by the other to pay attention to anything that was going on around them.

When they got back to the house earlier during they day it was found empty. Grams left them a note saying she and Trish went into town for lunch and to keep an eye on the food in the oven. The pair spent there time on the couch, cuddling and kissing, and enjoying the new level of comfort they felt with one another.

After returning from their lunch date, Grams and Trish took a nap for a few hours before getting up to serve the dinner. The dinner went by nicely, both Harm and Mac wondered when they should tell Grams and Trish about becoming a couple but didn't worry too much about it, seeing as how Mac already mentioned something about it to them earlier that day.

And now the four of them sat in the living room, the house lit only by the fire, adding to the rustic feel of the living room. Harm and Mac sit side by side on the sofa, arms linked and fingers entwined together while Trish and Grams occupied the two recliners.

They had just sat down after finishing their dinner and cleaning up the kitchen, now they needed a few minutes to rest. Harm and Mac offered to help clean up but they were shooed away from Grams and Trish so they went into the living room.

After making a fire and returning to his perch next to Mac, Harm tried to hear what Grams and Trish were talking about once he was sure he heard his name from one of them but had no such luck.

So he had turned his focus to the woman next to him. The way her hair hung to just below her shoulders, and how her eyes sparkled in the firelight. She was absolutely beautiful. Harm knew he could never get enough of this one woman and he knew he would never want to.

That was when he realized what he had to do, just not then, when his mother and grandmother were getting ready to join them. He quickly leaned over to whisper in her ear. "I need to talk to you later."

Mac looked at him confused, not sure what was on his mind. "Are you okay?" He never mentioned anything was bothering him while they were out on the hammock and she was sure he wouldn't keep something important from her.

He nodded the affirmative. "Yeah, everything's fine. We just need to talk about something after." He kissed her softly then to reassure her and linked their fingers together.

"…Harmon." The sound of his name brought him out of his reverie. He was too wrapped up in what he needed to talk to Mac about that he momentarily forgot where he was.

"What was that Grams?"

Grams smiled knowing she caught him off guard. He might have been thinking about something, but his gaze was locked onto Mac's. A genuine smile stuck to his lips. Mac had been trying to get his attention for a few seconds now, forty-seven, to be exact. But it was his grandmother's comment that got through his hazy mind.

"I said you look happy, Harmon." Grams and Trish smiled at him, knowing it was true. Harm was finally completely and truly happy. He always thought 'happy' was an emotion only associated with joy, like getting the present you wanted for your birthday or winning a case you'd been working on for many months.

But this happy was totally different. This was happiness in the middle of the day, floating on cloud nine happy. This…was love.

Harm looked over at Mac and smiled softly at her before replying. "Yeah, I guess I am happy." Mac smiled in return then placed her free hand on his arm before resting her head on his shoulder. Harm kissed the top of her head then rested his head on hers.

Both Grams and Trish couldn't hide their smiles if they wanted to. Neither one of them ever thought they'd live to see Harm in love. Of course they'd always hoped it would happen, but with his previous choice in women, they both prayed it wasn't with any of them.

But then came Sarah MacKenzie; this obviously beautiful and caring woman, one who matched Harm in every way, shape and form. This woman who challenged Harm and wasn't afraid to say what was on her mind. This woman was his partner, his equal, and his better half.

Trish sighed softly before whispering, "You are so much like your father." Harm looked at his mother and noticed the memory of her first husband pass through her always-expressive eyes.

Mac felt Harm's demeanor change slightly; he went from feeling completely relaxed to tense and rigid. She knew even hearing his father's name always did that to him, but now he had to hear his mother's comparison to him.

In an effort to comfort him, Mac squeezed his hand lightly, hoping to pass some strength to him through her gesture, while she rubbed small circles on his arm with the thumb of her other hand. Harm squeezed her hand in return then placed his free hand on her hand that rested on his arm.

Never in his life had he felt such an over-powering need for anyone in his life. He was used to needing 'Mac the partner' when it came to work but this was completely different. He needed Sarah, the woman, almost like he needed his next breath. He needed her with him…always.

Harm exhaled a small puff of breath, making sure his mother wouldn't sense anything was wrong then spoke. "How so?"

Three pairs of eyes fell on Trish, anticipating the story they all knew was coming. Her voice was soft and dreamy, like she was telling a story and reliving her memories all at the same time.

"Your father was a very strong and stubborn man. But he was also very handsome and attentive with me, much like you are with Sarah." Trish smiled softly at Harm and Mac then continued.

"When I first got to know him I thought he was this cocky teenager who thought he was god's gift to women. And he could be so…arrogant at times." Mac chuckled knowing that's exactly what she thought of Harm after knowing him for a few months, maybe even a few years. "That was until I got to know him, I mean really know him, inside and out. I got to know about his fears and aspirations, his favorite foods and favorite movie. That's when I realized he really wasn't whom he was portraying. The arrogance and cockiness was a façade he put on to hide the insecurities he had about himself."

When Trish paused, Mac allowed herself to think about Trish's comment. She always assumed Harm inherited more of his father's traits than his mothers and she was right. Trish may have been describing Harm Sr., but to Mac it was as if she were talking about her son Harm. The comparisons were eerily familiar.

"You were like that when you were a teenager; going out on dates with different girls on different nights and strutting your stuff knowing all the girls were looking." Trish smiled at the memory of Harm as a teenager then continued.

"You gave me and Frank some real hard times though, similar to the way your father did with your grandmother. And I hated the fact that you wouldn't give Frank the time of day when he asked if you wanted to help him work on the cars or go fishing. But deep down we understood, that to you Frank wasn't your father, just some man trying to replace him."

"But over the years you realized that wasn't Franks intentions. It was hard for him to step into your life, knowing you weren't going to accept him. But he never pushed you or made you feel as though he didn't want you to be his stepson. And now the two of you have a wonderful relationship."

"Now you sit in front of me, every bit of the man your father was; handsome and strong and wise way beyond your years."

Trish paused again in an effort to figure out how she wanted to say her next sentence. Mac took Trish's pause as an opportunity to comfort Harm some more. Throughout Trish's story, Mac could feel Harm tense then relax during different parts and now he tensed again at his mother's pause, unsure of where this was going. She unlaced their fingers and rested her hand on his knee while her other hand rubbed his arm, hoping to give him the strength she knew he needed.

After a few more silent moments, Trish finished. "I guess what I'm trying to say Harm, is that I'm proud of you. You've come a long way and you still managed to keep your head on straight." Trish smiled lovingly at her son and Harm returned her smile. Her story wasn't anything like he had thought. He thought it was going to be a trip down memory lane, a trip he didn't want to take. Instead it made him feel good hearing about his father. Gave him some perspective on his life.

Harm unwound himself from Mac and stood up to give his mother a kiss on the cheek and a whispered, "Thanks mom" before going to put another log in the fire at his grandmothers request.

"What about you, Grams? What was your husband like?" Mac couldn't help herself; she'd always loved hearing about Harm's family, trying to figure out which traits came from whom and the different parts that made him the man she knew.

Harm returned to his spot on the couch next to Mac, fingers tangled and heads rested together, waiting to hear what Grams had to say. The pair listened intently while Grams talked about her late husband. About the many adventures they went on together and about the lifetime they spent with one another.

Before they knew it, Grams and Trish bid them goodnight and went up stairs, leaving them alone in the living room. They stretched out on the couch, Mac lying on Harm's chest, her head burrowed into the crook of his neck. And Harm, one hand cradling her head, similar to the way one would do with a baby, while the other softly stroked her back.

Harm fought to keep his eyes open, but the ambiance of the living room and Mac's soft puffs of breath to his neck had such an affect on him, helping him feel calm and relaxed before falling asleep.

**Grandma Sarah's Farm**

**Bellevue**

**2347 hours (11:37 pm local)**

Mac fluttered her eyes open and knew she must have died and gone to heaven. This was just like her dream, she and Harm cuddling on the couch with a warm fire in the background, except there was something missing. The sound of light breaths, coming through a baby monitor. That was when she knew she was no longer dreaming.

Involuntarily, her body became tense with the hurt she felt, knowing that dreams were just that…dreams. And there was a very good chance they would remain only dreams.

But how could that be? It felt so real.

When she attempted to roll off of Harm without waking him, she felt his arms tighten around her.

"Where are you going?" He asked, his voice filled with sleep.

"I was just going to head up to bed. I didn't mean to wake you." Her voice sounded funny, even to her own ears. She needed some space…soon.

Harm released his hold on her and pushed himself up from the couch once she was standing. "Well wait for me." He walked over to the fire to make sure it was fully out then followed her up the stairs. She walked down the hall and was about to turn into her room when she heard his voice.

"Are you sleeping in there tonight or did you want to sleep in my room?" He hoped she was just turning towards her room out of politeness, unwilling to over-step a boundary only she knew about. But he knew once he heard her voice that wasn't going to be the case.

"Uh, no I think I'll just sleep in here. Besides, I'm sure your back must be bothering you from lying on the couch. I don't want to take up the extra space on your bed." Her voice, hesitant but final.

Harm tried not to let his disappointment show but knew it was written clearly on his face. "Oh, alright then. But you might want to grab an extra shirt. You needed one last night, remember?"

Mac simply nodded her head and went into his room to grab a shirt. When Harm went in behind her, he seen her frozen in place, top draw open and shirt in hand. That's when he realized what happened.

Mac stared at it, not knowing she had company. It wasn't there last night and she was pretty sure Harm never left the farm, so he couldn't have gotten it today. Unless he had it all along?

When Harm cleared his throat, Mac jumped quickly and shut the draw. She turned, unable to make eye contact with him and went into her room for the night without a word.

The only thought on his mind was, "Good going, Rabb."


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello everyone! For those of you who are still waiting for me to finish this, here is a very small update for you. I know it has been quite some time since I've updated this and I really am truly sorry for that. But as I'm sure some of you writers know, real life tends to get in the way and writing needs to take a break for a while. That's what happened with this. **

**I know that isn't much of an explination but it's the god honest truth. So for those of you who are still interested here you go. There's really not all that much going on in this tiny post but it's what I got until I get back into the swing of things.**

**Also, this is un-edited and un-beta'd so all mistakes are my own.**

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**Grandma Sarah's Farm****  
****Bellevue****  
****0657 (6:57 am local)**

Harm sat up in bed, rubbing his tired eyes. He'd probably slept a total of sixty minutes last night, if he was lucky. His mind was too occupied with what Mac found to give him any rest.

He couldn't believe he left it in the draw, especially after telling Mac to go into said draw to get a shirt. Harm usually carried it around in his pocket, along with the box it sat in but he left it in the draw knowing he'd be working in the yard that day, and he didn't want to lose it.

Harm had it all planned out too; the presentation, the atmosphere, the location and he already knew what he was going to say. He would often imagine how the evening would pan out; how Mac would drop her head in shyness with every compliment he sent her way, and how the candlelight shined brightly in her chocolate eyes.

But now it was all shot to hell. He knew he couldn't follow through with that plan seeing as how she already found it. Now he had to start all over again; he needed a new plan. However, before he went ahead and started to make a plan, he had to talk to Mac, which he knew wouldn't be easy.

Meanwhile…

Mac sat up in her bed, back against the headboard, an arm across her stomach supporting the elbow of her other arm, while her free hand was at her face, quickly losing her fingernails. She hated biting her nails; she found it be an extremely disgusting habit, almost as bad as nicotine or liquor. But at that current moment in time, it stopped her from pouring herself a drink and for that she was thankful for the nasty habit.

Her body was stiff from head to toe due to the lack of movement from her. She didn't sleep one wink last night and she was pretty sure she'd been in the same position for many hours now. She spent the night alternating between pacing in her room and sitting in her current position.

All night her nerves got the better of her, telling her she was making a big deal out of nothing, that it was just an empty box. Her nerves making her feel like she now had a deadline to either decline or accept.

But this situation needed to be handled delicately, they couldn't just forget about it and never mention it again like they did with many situations they went through. No, this needed a lot of thought and consideration.

If Mac accepted without really thinking about what it meant and began having fears about married life then there is a good chance it wouldn't work out. If she declined, she could end up alone and that was something that she didn't want.

She'd been in many relationships throughout her life but all of them lacked one thing or another. She finally had a good, fulfilling relationship with someone she loved more than she could've imagined possible and she didn't want to ruin it.

'So this is what it feels like to be stuck between a rock and a hard place,' she thought.

**A/N: Hope it doesn't completely suck. Let me know what you think.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks to those of you who commented, I greatly appreciate it! I know it's been a while since I've updated this so I'm sure there are some of you who might of lost interest but that's understandable.**

**But for those of you who are still with me and this story there is something I must tell you...there are only two more chapters left... :( I haven't decided whether or not I'm going to write an epilogue yet though...**

**However, once this is finished I can focus on the other stories I have going, one is a full story and I'm no where near done with that one. And the others are challenges from the HBX website so look out for those if you wish. **

**Also, this is un-edited and un-betad so all mistakes are courtesy of me. Hope you like!!**

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**Grandma Sarah's Farm  
Bellevue  
0900 (9:00 local)**

After a few more hours of feeling restless, Harm finally went down stairs for breakfast, only to find Grams alone in the kitchen. He went over to her and kissed her on the cheek before exchanging pleasantries.

One look at Harm told Grams it must've been a long night for him. "Harmon, what's wrong? You look like you haven't slept in months!" Grams patted his cheek in a comforting gesture while Harm just gave her a small, sad smile.

"Do you want to talk to me about it?" Harm looked around the house before answering; making sure it was just Grams and him. Of course he would have to talk to Mac about this, but at the moment, he didn't know where the conversation would be headed and figured it would be best if Mac wasn't around. If Mac overheard part of their conversation, she could misunderstand what he was saying and that would just lead them down the path they just came from. Harm wanted to move forward, not backwards.

Sensing his thoughts, Grams said, "Don't worry dear, Sarah's out taking a walk with your mother. You just missed them so they could be gone for a while." Harm nodded his head in response then took a seat on a stool at the island, his head slightly dropped, shoulders slumped and hands wrung together. Grams noticed his demeanor and knew this issue was really getting to her grandson.

After taking a seat next to him, Grams placed her hand over Harms before asking, "Is everything okay? You're really starting to worry me."

Harm looked at his grandmother for the first time since she sat down at the island with him, eyes unsure and cloudy with mixed emotions. "I-I don't really know, Grams." Harm paused then continued. "I mean, I hope and I want for things to be okay but I'm not sure how to go about making them turn out that way."

Grams nodded her head in response, signaling for Harm to continue. "You see, I've had this," Harm reached into the front pocket of his jeans and pulled out the small box he'd been carrying around for the past year and placed it on the counter in front of his grandmother. "…for a while now." Grams just looked at it, already knowing what the box held and finding no reason to look inside seeing as how it wasn't for her.

"I've been trying for the longest time to build up the courage to ask her, but I over-analyzed every detail, wanting it to be something she'd never forget. And every time I felt I was ready to ask her, something always got in the way."

"And now we're finally both in the right place at the same time and she found it. Before I could explain it she was already in the other room and I knew if I went after her I'd mess it up."

"So now I have to come up with a way for her to listen to what I have to say and still throw in an element of surprise."

Throughout Harm's speech, Grams had been listening intently. She understood the confusion her grandson felt, being unable to gauge Mac's reaction to her findings. But there were still some things she couldn't get her mind around.

"Harmon, dear, please forgive me but you lost me on a few things." At Harm's look of confusion, she continued. "You said you had the ring for a while now, correct?" Once Harm nodded his answer, Grams continued. "Well, didn't you and Mac just begin to venture into a romantic relationship? If you had the ring for a while, that would mean you must have purchased it while the two of you were still friends, right?"

Harm dropped his gaze from his grandmother and thought thoroughly before answering. "There have been many different chapters in mine and Mac's relationship. And during those chapters we went from being friends to enemies and back to friends numerous times. But deep down, I've always known she was the one for me and when I finally accepted that fact, I bought the ring, even though we had yet to become romantically involved. I figured as long as I had the ring, my future with Mac would be definite."

Grams smiled at Harm, happy that he was finally ready to settle down in life. Both she and Trish were beginning to wonder if he would ever do so.

"Alright dear, I just have one more question for you. Why do you feel Mac needs to be surprised with this? I mean, she has already seen this," Grams pointed to the box then continued. "So why not just be upfront about it and ask her? Sometimes what you say during the moment is more memorable than the evening itself."

Harm smiled at Grams' statement after he allowed her comment to filter into his mind, a plan already forming…

_**Meanwhile…**_

Mac and Trish were beginning their second lap around the farm still in silence. Mac wasn't sure what to think when Trish had asked her if she wanted to go for a walk around the farm before breakfast. When Mac had went downstairs that morning she was almost positive she would find Harm in the kitchen with his family; knowing that he tended to get up early when he came for a visit. Instead, Mac stumbled upon Grams and Trish, just sitting down for their first cup of coffee and joined them when they had asked her to. Mac hadn't spoken to either woman while they sipped their coffees; instead she enjoyed the quiet of the early morning.

It wasn't until Trish had asked Mac to join her in her walk that Mac realized Harm was moving around upstairs. Too afraid to face him so soon, Mac agreed quickly. And now the women continued to walk passed the house and up the long dirt road.

Trish had a feeling something might have happened last night between Mac and her son. Mac seemed to be more comfortable around Trish and Grams over the course of the weekend but this morning proved otherwise. Instead of the warm, welcoming smile from Mac, they were given a soft, almost shy smile instead. Trish just hoped that Harm didn't do anything to push Mac away. Both she and Grams took a fast liking to Mac and they both wanted her to remain a part of Harm's life, as well as theirs.

After walking a few more feet in silence, Trish finally spoke. "Sarah, can I ask you something?" Trish looked at Mac curiously, not sure what Mac's answer would be. She was slightly surprised when Mac said, "Yes" because the pair hadn't really talked as much as Trish would've liked and she thought Mac wouldn't be very comfortable having a heart-to-heart with her.

"Are you and Harm okay?" Before Mac could respond, Trish continued. "It just seemed like you were avoiding him earlier this morning. It wasn't until you heard him moving around upstairs that you agreed to go for a walk with me. I hope everything is okay between the two of you." Trish's tone was neither harsh nor condescending; she was truly concerned for Mac and her son.

After a few moments of silence on Mac's behalf, she replied. "Honestly, I'm not sure." Trish looked at Mac again, somewhat surprised at her retort. Trish was hoping Mac would say everything was fine and it was just Trish's over-active imagination but it didn't seem to be that at all. Something was really bothering this woman.

Trish placed her hand on Mac's arm, ceasing their walk and gaining her full attention. "Look, Sarah, I know that we don't really know each other that well but you're like family to me now, I want you to feel comfortable around me. I want you to know that you can talk to me about things, you know, the way friends and even mothers and daughters do."

That was the one comment that caused Mac's armor to completely crumble. She told herself she would live in the moment this weekend when it came to Harm yet she continued to shield herself at times from Trish and Grams, afraid they would see or find something she didn't want to share with them. But Trish's comment broke through her armor, revealing all that she desperately tried to hide from this woman; her fears, thoughts, hopes and even her aspirations from the future.

Suddenly, a connection was made between the two women; a connection that Mac was sure she never had before. It was the connection that a parent shares with their child, much like the way Trish had described. It was a connection that came completely unexpected yet not unwanted. This connection had been missing from Mac throughout her entire life and now that she had it, she was going to revel in it.

Mac knew Trish could see the tears in her eyes so she spoke before Trish started to get the wrong idea. "Thank you, Trish." Mac gave Trish a soft smile before they continued their walk, Mac's arm looped through Trish's, subtly trying to keep their connection, both physically and emotionally.

Once the pair walked a few more feet, Mac spoke in a voice barely above a whisper and laced with worry. "I'm afraid to move forward with Harm." Trish turned her head slightly to look at Mac but didn't say anything, afraid Mac wouldn't say anything more. "And it's not fair to him. He should be with someone who wants what he wants, someone who isn't afraid to love."

Trish placed her free hand on Mac's arm and said, "Isn't that something Harm should decide for himself?" When Mac didn't answer, Trish took that as her cue to continue. "Do you really believe that Harm doesn't want to be with you? That he's just sticking around because he's a 'nice guy' and he wants to help you through your problems?"

Mac wasn't sure what to say. She had so many questions, so many insecurities she didn't know which one to begin with.

"Where is this coming from? Did he say these things to you?" Trish was beginning to think she'd have to march back to the farm and knock some sense into her son for doing this to Mac. She was fully prepared to drag him by the ears and make him explain himself!

Trish was too busy in her musings to hear Mac's response, so she asked Mac to repeat herself. "I said I found a ring box in his dresser draw last night." Trish couldn't stop the ear-to-ear smile from forming on her face. This was the best news ever! Harm would like it too; that means his ears can stay unharmed!

But if this was such good news, then why wasn't Mac as happy as Trish was? Once Trish came down from cloud nine, she started to put the pieces together. "Does that have anything to do with you being afraid to move forward with Harm?"

Mac nodded her head then spoke. "I love Harm, I really do; it's just…I had just started getting used to the fact that I could hug him or hold his hand whenever I wanted to and then I found the ring box and I panicked." Mac knew she wasn't making much sense so she took a deep breathe then continued.

"Part of the reason why I was so afraid to love him romantically was because I had been comfortable with us being just friends and knowing what I could and couldn't do with him. I knew how to handle myself around him and I was just so used to being friends that I started to panic because I didn't know how to act any other way."

"I didn't want to be so exceedingly loving towards him that he'd freak out and leave. Yet I didn't want to act the same way I did when we were just friends because then he'd think that's all I'd want to be with him…just friends." Trish nodded her head at Mac, letting her know that she understood and it was okay for Mac to continue. "And then I found the box and I didn't know what to think so I left."

Trish let Mac's words sink in before speaking. "Moving forward in any aspect can be scary, Sarah. Not knowing what's gong to happen from one minute or the next, or not knowing how you'll have to behave in certain situations. It's called…life."

"You can't live your life in one place because of fear. In order to get somewhere you need to take chances and put yourself out there. Sure you might fail and make mistakes, but you need to do that in order to learn."

"The same goes for relationships. By not moving forward you'll only be friends with Harm. The two of you took a chance on a romantic relationship and from what I've seen; you've done a good job at it."

"Now, you just need to feel. If you feel in your heart, that you can't move forward with him, not because you're afraid, but because marriage just isn't something you want, then tell him so. But if you truly want to be happy with your life, if you want to wake up every day knowing you're right where you want to be, then stop being so afraid and move forward with Harm."

Mac wiped the tears from her eyes quickly with her free hand. Why did it seem so easy? Like it was only a two-second decision that required no thought, just feeling?

Trish spotted the farm house up ahead and knew they should probably head in; she was sure Harm would be searching for Mac. But there was just one more thing she needed to address first.

"Sarah I know how Harm feels about you and it's nothing like you might be thinking. He isn't just sticking by you to be nice; he's doing it because he loves you, and because he wants you to be happy. From what I've gathered, he's in this for the long haul." Trish pulled Mac into a warm and loving embrace for a few moments once they reached the farm house.

Once Mac was released from Trish's grasp, she gave the smaller woman a warm smile before entering the house, knowing she needed to talk to Harm…


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello to those of you who are still with me! (you know who you are) I know that it has been an _extremely_ long time since I've updated this and for that I am sorry. But sometimes real life gets in the way, which I'm sure many of you know. **

**But for those loyal fanfic readers that I'm sure are out there...this ones for you. There are only a few more chapters left in this story and once this is finished I'll have to see about writing some other fics. But for now I have this one, as do you so please let me know what you think. Reviews of any kind are always appreciated. :)**

**One more quick thing, with the exception the the tiny part at the very beginning of this chapter, anything in italics are either Harm or Mac's thoughts, incase I didn't specify it in the chapter itself. This is unbeta-d and un-edited so all mistakes are courtesy of me.**

_"Sarah I know how Harm feels about you and it's nothing like you might be thinking. He isn't just sticking by you to be nice; he's doing it because he loves you, and because he wants you to be happy. From what I've gathered, he's in this for the long haul." Trish pulled Mac into a warm and loving embrace for a few moments once they reached the farm house._

_Once Mac was released from Trish's grasp, she gave the smaller woman a warm smile before entering the house, knowing she needed to talk to Harm…_

**********

Mac entered the house and her eyes immediately searched for Harm, knowing this was something that couldn't be put off any longer. So she summoned up all the courage in her being and headed towards the kitchen where Harm was seated. It wasn't until she reached the island that she noticed he was in deep conversation with Grams while holding the little box in his hands, rolling it between his palms, almost as if it was going to bring him some strength.

Mac passed Harm and Grams in the kitchen, leaving Trish behind at the island and headed out the back door of the kitchen onto the porch. Harm could see her through the screen door leaning against the post by the top of the stairs, looking out over the farm with her arms wrapped around her mid-section, trying to fight off the cold that was coming from within. He sighed heavily hoping it wasn't too late for them.

Grams reached over and patted her grandson's arm in encouragement. "I'm sure everything is going to work out for the best, dear." He looked up and sent her a small smile of thanks before saying, "God I hope so," and getting up from his stool. Trish patted his back as he walked passed her, silently wishing him luck as he headed out the back door towards Mac.

The screen door squeeked, signaling his arrival on the porch. Mac heard the boards creek as he made the few short steps towards her. Even in a time of slight anguish just knowing he was there made her heart flutter. _'You got it bad, MacKenzie,_' she thought to herself.

Harm leaned against the rail, his lower back resting on the banister of the porch, while looking at Mac from the side, her back towards his front. He waited for several moments to see if she had any reaction to him being there, however she had none.

Mac knew he didn't deserve this type of treatment from her but all the couarge she mustered up earlier seemed to have left her being, leaving her feeling weak and vulnerable. With a soft sigh she said to herself, _'Suck it up marine,'_ then turned to face Harm. What she saw took her breath away. He looked at her with such raw emotion it made her go weak in the knees. He loved her, she knew that, for quite some time if she were to be truthful to herself. But there was something burried underneath all that in his eyes that she almost missed…doubt?

She took a step closer to him, almost as if she were going to look closer at what she was seeing. But within the span of a few seconds it was gone and now all she could see in his eyes was hope.

Harm looked closely at Mac while she was studying him. She'd been crying again…and recently based on the tear tracks that were still slightly visible on her cheeks along with the red-rims that housed her dark chocolate eyes. But whether she realized it or not to him she was still beautiful. His instinct was to reach out and hold her but he couldn't do that just yet, not until they started to sort through this situation.

Harm opened his mouth to speak but stopped short once he seen Mac begin to talk. "How long have you had it?" He didn't bother prolonging his answer, knowing that wouldn't solve anything. So instead he responded quickly but saying in a voice just loud enough for only her to hear, "I bought it the week before the Admiral's dining out. It was around the time I accepted the fact that you were the one for me."

Mac's voice briefly caught in her throat at Harm's declaration. Sure she's had men tell her that they loved her, but looking back on those instances she knew they weren't real. None of those instances were a real love that could withstand anything; it was more like the love you have for your best friend.

She knew that Harm loved her, at this point everyone seemed to know about his feelings for her. But it was the way he said it that got to her. Never in her life had she ever felt and over-powering warmth spread through her at such an assertion. That's when she knew, that she felt the same way about him too.

"Why are you so afraid of me?" And just like that the air left her lungs. _'Does he really believe that?' _she thought to herself. Mac tilted her head and looked at him quizzically before resting her hand on his arm, making the first physical connection with him since he stepped foot outside.

"Please tell me you don't believe that." After a moment of silence in which she hoped for a response from him, she stated, "I'm not afraid of you, Harm." He looked down at her then, his defenses slowly washing away. "It's not you that I'm afraid of; I'm afraid of me and my actions." At his look of confusion she clarified.

"I know that I love you, Harm, of that much I'm certain. But I don't know how to **act** like I love you."

"When we were just friends I knew what I could and couldn't say; I knew that I had to keep my distance and not touch you. I knew how to bounce back from any disagreement we might have had as **friends.** But this is something that is totally different for me."

"If we fight as a couple, I won't know how to react. And if I say something that I shouldn't, how am I supposed to know that we'll be okay after that?"

Harm looked intensely in her eyes and seen that these were all valid, current issues and insecurites that Mac had been dealing with. He inhaled deeply and lowered his head slightly closer towards hers and responded.

"You're not supposed to know how to react and respond during or after a disagreement. No one is a fortune teller, Mac. Part of having a healthy, adult relationship means there will be some disagreements. It doesn't mean that we'll fail or that we'll give up. It means we're going to work through whatever problems arise and get over them…together. Because this isn't something that I want to screw up."

He gave her a minute to take in what he had said before continuing in a voice just above a whisper. "As far as you not knowing how to act towards me now that we're more than friends, that's something that comes naturally. If you feel like holding my hand," Harm moved his arm, allowing Mac's hand to easily slide into his, their fingers entwining immediately. "then reach out and grab a hold of it. And if you feel like holding me close," he put the small box down on the banister of the porch while he took Mac's arm and wrapped it around his waist, pulling her flush against him. "don't be afraid to do so, I won't complain." He gave her a flirtacious wink, causing her to giggle and blush all while attempting to hide her face in his chest.

"And another thing Mac," Harm waited until she looked up at him to continue. Once she did he used his free hand that was holding one of hers and gently brought it to her face brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes before slowly trailing his fingers around the outer shell of her ear, pushing that pesky strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't want you to ever be afraid to tell me how you feel because you'll always get an 'I love you' out of me in return."

After Harm was sure Mac fully heard and understood what he said he closed the short gap between them and placed his lips over hers, in his eyes sealing their fate. It was a soft kiss, nothing like the two they've shared over the weekend. It wasn't just a peck or a taste and it wasn't over-powering with exploding emotions. On the contrary, it was slow and loving, like they were each silently telling the other that this was it, this was where they wanted to be for the rest of their lives, with each other.

Slowly, Harm backed away from the kiss, knowing there was still one last thing they needed to get to the bottom of before they left the farm and headed back home. With Mac's head rested on his chest and one hand holding her to him, he used his free hand to pick up the small box from the banister of the porch and held it in front of Mac.

"What do you suppose we do about this?" Harm knew he wasn't getting rid of it. One way or the other, whether it was now or later, the only way the ring was leaving the box was when it took up residence on Mac's finger.

Mac sighed heavily and thougtr hard about what to do. She knew she wanted to be with Harm, and she knew she was never going to leave him, but there was still something that wasn't quite right, so she told him so.

She held the box in her hand for a few moments contemplating on what to do before finaly handing it back to Harm. She looked up and into his eyes before saying, "I think we should wait."

Harm couldn't help but feel even the slightest bit of disappointment at her answer and Mac quickly put him at ease. "Believe me Harm, when I say that there is nothing that I want more right now than to be your wife, I just think it's too soon. This," she motions with their entwined hands towards Harm then herself, "is still to new and fragile. I want to enjoy this for a little while before we make such a big step. I'm not saying 'no,' I'm simply saying 'not right now,' okay?"

Harm looks down at her with love and adoration in his eyes. _'Why wouldn't it be okay?_' he thought to himself. _'My future is already set,_ i_t's just going to take some time to get there.'_ He nods his head in response and places the box in his pants pocket before giving her a soft kiss to the lips.

"C'mon Marine," he says softly, "let's go pack so we can head home." Harm led her into the house, holding her hand the entire way.

Home…she liked the sound of that.


	12. Epilogue

Hey everyone! Here is the final chapter to this story. I know that it has been REALLY long time since this has been updated so I dont blame any of you for losing interest in this, if you have. But my muse has finally decided to come back from its hiatus.

I have never written an epilogue before to hopefully I did a halfway decent job on it. I appreciate all of your comments, they mean a great deal to me.

With that said, I hope you all enjoy this.

As always this is unedited so all mistakes are courtesy of me.

Rabb Residence

Alexandria, VA

2010 hrs (8:10 pm local)

Mac sighed softly too herself while she slowly rocked back and forth on her porch swing, sipping her tea and clutching the collar of her cardigan closed, trying to fight off the chill that came with night time. This was her favorite part of the day, sitting on her porch enjoying the sounds of nature and taking in her surroundings. There was something so peaceful to her about watching the leaves of the trees sway with the sound of the wind, and listening as the crickets played her favorite song.

It was times like this, where she sat quietly, and thought about how much her life had changed over the past few years.

Once she and Harm returned from Grandma Sarah's farm from what she refers to as 'the weekend that changed everything,' in terms of their relationship, the pair continued to tread carefully with their new found love. Not because they were nervous, but because neither one of them wanted to be the one to screw it up. Both Harm and Mac knew this was the type of relationship that would change the course of their lives. Because of that, they both took extra caution with everything they did.

The pair dated quietly for almost one full year until their friends started to catch on. A stolen moment in the kitchen of their friends home is what blew their cover. Harm just couldn't help himself, and he makes sure to stress his point whenever the story gets brought up. "You just looked so damn cute," he says.

Harm caught her washing paint off her hands during one of their visits to the Roberts' home. Mac had been finger painting with their four god children teaching them how to make hand turkeys to hang on the fridge for Thanksgiving. He snuck up behind her and slid his arms around her waist, holding her close when she jumped from his sudden touch. When she turned her head with a smile it was then that he smiled brightly and said, "You have paint on your nose," before leaning down to give her a soft kiss to the lips.

The unexpected sound of shattering glass and a shriek of happiness spoiled their intimate moment when Harriet noticed the scene in her kitchen.

Mac chuckled softly to herself at the memory of that afternoon. She was slightly disappointed that her friend found out about her relationship with Harm; Mac loved the adrenaline rush her secret allowed her to have. There was something so exillerating about having something, in this case someone, that was all hers. Someone that she didn't have to share with anyone else.

Mac took another sip of her tea and continued to think about the changes that have occurred in her life.

Once the word was out about her relationship with Harm, they both knew something was going to have to be done in regards to their careers. They both loved the military, and neither one of them wanted to give up the careers that they had both worked so hard to attain. They had spent many nights talking about their options, about what it would mean for their future and how it would affect their lives.

On the day the decision was made, it wasn't anything like either of them had talked about. It was a day Mac knew shed never forget, a day that almost changed everything.

Harm had spent most of his day in the Generals office and when he wasn't in the office he was avoiding Mac at all costs, knowing that there was a good possiblity the day wouldn't be ending well.

The General had offered Harm a Captains billet in California, which meant a few things. Most of them meant hed have to be separated from Mac, which he immediately shot down. He finally had the relationship with Mac that he had longed for and he wasn't about to throw it all away to get ahead in his career.

So instead, he filed his request for retirement. The General tried to coax him out of his decision by saying how lucky he was to even be considered for such a position given his track record. He told Harm about how people would kill to be in his position. But come the end of the day, Harm knew that his promotion came without the one thing he wanted the most in life, and that was Mac.

When Harm told Mac about his decision to retire, she was immediately upset. Of course she was glad that Harm wouldn't be going anywhere, but she didn't want to be the reason for it. She didn't want to be the one to hold Harm back from getting his promotion.

That was the first real argument they had as a couple. Of course they managed to work through it, but the initiall shock of the major change that was going to happen in their lives fueled the argument along with the feelings that came with knowing things were going to take a drastic turn.

The honking of a horn from a car passing by tore Mac from her reverie. Thinking about how her life is now, Mac knew Harms decision to retire was for the best.

Shortly after his retirement was finalized, the pair planned a trip back to Grandma Sarah's farm for their annual visits. They promised Grams that they, along with Trish, would plan a weekend getaway to the farm every mother's day, so the group could all catch up and spend the special day together as a family.

It was during this visit, that Mac finally accepted Harms proposal. The pair had just finished a nice dinner that Harm prepared, and as promised, the girls did the cleaning because he did all the cooking. The trio of women laughed and joked while they cleaned up the kitchen and started a small fire to sit and relax to.

Grams' was the first person to notice that Harm was missing. When she mentioned he was gone, Trish volunteered to go find him. With a quick wink and nod of the head Grams' said, "Sarah dear, would you mind going after Harm? I need Trish's help decorating my bedroom." Mac had agreed and wasted no time going to track him down. Grams looked at Trish and said jokingly, "You almost ruined a very important moment for our Harm." Trish smiled brightly at the realization as to what was about to happen, and then wrapped Grams in a tight embrace before saying, "Finally!"

Mac walked briskly up the dirt road in search for Harm. She didn't even realize that Harm had left the house but when she did, she had the sudden urge to get to him. She wanted to be with him, his arms encircling her and holding her close, just the way she liked it.

She walked around the bend and found Harm sitting on the edge of the fish pond, smiling brightly as she came into his line of vision. As she walked closer to him, he stood to greet her with his arms open, ready and waiting for her to step into them. "I missed you," Mac whispered as his arms closed around her. Harm smiled brightly before taking his seat back on the edge of the pond, Mac taking up residence on his lap, her arms hanging loosely around his neck.

Harm swallowed discreetly, pushing down the lump that had formed in his throat. "Oh yeah?" He was stalling, and he knew it but he needed a few more moments to gather his bearings.

Mac chuckled, gave Harm a soft kiss to the nose then replied flirtatiously, "Yeah. What are you going to do about it?"

Harm smiled and said, "Well, what if I told you there was a way for you to never miss me again?" Harm looked deeply in her eyes when he noticed the question forming behind them. "I mean, what if I said to you that we could be together forever?" It was then the tears started to form in Mac's eyes. Harm used the pad of his thumb to brush a stray tear off her cheek then continued.

"I've known for a very long time now, that you are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. So, if you'll have me," Harm paused then reached into his sweater pocket pulling the ring box out. He flipped it open and watched the awe shine in Mac's eyes before continuing. "I promise to spend the rest of my life, making you as happy as you've made me. And I will make sure that you never have to miss me again." Harm took a deep breath then whispered, "Will you, Sarah MacKenzie, do me the incredible honor of becoming my wife?"

Mac choked out a sob of happiness as she nodded her head vigorously, words not finding their way from her brain to her mouth. Harm slipped the ring onto her finger with almost a practiced ease, like it was the most natural thing in the world to be doing, before giving her a kiss

more passionate than any they've ever shared before.

When they broke apart Harm said, "I have one more surprise for you." Mac looked at him in surprise. "Okay," Mac choked out in reply. Harm reached into his pocket and pulled out a keychain with a single key on it. Mac looked at him quizzically then said, "I don't get it."

"This," Harm started, "is the key to our new house."

The creaking of the wooden porch beneath his feet caused Mac to look up from her cup of tea, tearing her from her latest trip down memory lane. "Hey, you," she said brightly. "I was wondering where you were."

Harm walked over and sat next to Mac on the swing, giving her a soft kiss to the lips. "I'm sorry, but someone didn't want to go to bed." Harm looked down into the big brown eyes of his fifteen month old daughter and smiled brightly at her. She was everything theyd hoped and wished for in a child. She had Mac's big brown eyes and wavy brown hair. She had Harms complexion and his attitude; she was a perfect mix of the two of them.

"Is that true?" Mac cooed at her daughter in the sweet voice that Harm loved so much, before placing her daughter in her arms allowing Harm to cover them up with the blanket hed taken out for them. The little girl looked up at her parents and smiled at the sound of her mothers tone.

Harm wrapped one arm around Mac's shoulders pulling her flush against his side, then placed his other arm around her front holding her close, just the way he knew she liked.

Harm kissed Macs head softly and closed his eyes relishing in the love he felt for and from this woman and child. He always knew that this was the life he wanted for himself but as the years wore on and he started getting older he wasn't sure if it was in the cards for him.

That was until a woman named Sarah MacKenzie came into his life. It wasn't until he met her that he knew everything he ever dreamed of happening in his life was capable of coming true. It wasn't until he met her that Harm realized how important it was to live for today and make the best out of every situation. But most of all, it wasn't until he met Sarah MacKenzie that Harm became the happiest version of himself that he could ever hope to be.


End file.
